


Pretending to be Yours

by Lisamc21



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, But it is short lived, Coming Out, Drunk Sex, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Halloween, M/M, Slow Burn, Some angst in one chapter, hallmark movie vibes, there's only one bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 38,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27181663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisamc21/pseuds/Lisamc21
Summary: About a year into co-owning Rose Apothecary, Patrick's pressured to go home for Halloween to attend the big town festival (Hallmark vibesssss) and his cousin's bachelor party. But he's not out yet and he tells David he wishes he had a boyfriend to take home to make the process easier. David offers to play the role he's yearned for since he met Patrick. But the thing is, neither of them really have to pretend.This story follows the guys on their weekend in Patrick's hometown. Staying with the Brewers, carving pumpkins, meeting more Brewers, wearing costumes, and THERE IS ONLY ONE BED *gasp*.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 226
Kudos: 416
Collections: Schitt's Creek Trick Or Treat





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [SCTrickOrTreat](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SCTrickOrTreat) collection. 



> **Prompt:**  
>    
> FAKE RELATIONSHIP ALERT! Patrick gets roped into going back home for his friend's (cousin's? you decide) huge Halloween bash. A big annual event in Patrick's hometown. He and David are just business partners and friends at this point. Patrick is scared to go back now that he understands his true sexual and romantic preferences because #Rachel and #ComingOut. When David offers to go with him so he's not alone, they wind up pretending to be boyfriends, up until they're not pretending any longer.
> 
> \----
> 
> Thank you so much to [RhetoricalQuestions ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhetoricalQuestions) and [sullymygoodname](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sullymygoodname) for organizing this amazing fic fest!!

“Patrick? Do you think we should paint the sign pumpkin orange or monarch orange?” David held up two paint squares to Patrick and schooled his features into displaying a genuine curiosity.

Patrick looked up from the laptop at the tiny desk in the back of their store. “You’re asking me?”

David rolled his eyes. “Obviously. We _are_ business partners and I value your opinion.”

Patrick’s expression indicated he didn’t believe David, but he’d play along. “Okay, let’s see.” He accepted the two squares and studied them. Then he held them toward the light, away from the light, toward his laptop screen, and away again.

David nearly made his lip bleed from biting so hard to avoid laughing.

“Um.”

“It’s tough, right? They’re both such great shades, and I want to capture the perfect autumnal aesthetic. It really sets the mood for the season, you know?”

“Mm. Yes.” Patrick’s eyes rapidly bounced between the squares like a Felix the Cat clock.

Patrick’s frustrated expressions was one of the ones David loved best. No, _liked_ best as platonic business partners in friends. Liked in a respectable and not romantic or sexual way. Nope. Not at all. Super professional. He’d never once thought about the way Patrick’s concentrated and frustrated face would look in bed as he focused all his attention on David—

“Please tell me you’re fucking with me. These are the exact same color. Same _shade_.” He handed the samples back to David.

“Technically, they are distinctly different shades of orange.” David felt the corner of his mouth slide up when Patrick groaned. “And, also, yes, I’m fucking with you.”

Patrick swatted at David’s thigh. “You are such an asshole.”

“You love it.” David sucked in a breath at Patrick’s sudden serious expression. Time slowed as they stared in each other’s eyes.

One in a line of approximately a zillion moments in the nearly year since they’d opened their store where they seemed _thisclose_ to making something happen. So close to David feeling like, yeah, maybe Patrick did actually like him and want to add another descriptor to their relationship.

Patrick smirked at him, breaking the moment. “Go with pumpkin orange. The name fits the season. Monarch orange sounds like a spring color.”

“I’m just trying to teach you my side of the business, Patrick. In case I get abducted by aliens and the store lives or dies by your aesthetic decisions.” He smirked back.

“Does that mean you’re ready to learn Quickbooks?”

“Ew. No. I can hire out for that if you get abducted.”

Patrick snorted. “So sweet.”

“Want a tea? I’ll run to the cafe.”

“I’d love one. How about Earl Gray today?” Patrick smiled, then turned back to his laptop.

“Back in a jiff.” Jiff? Jesus. Was he a 1950s sitcom dad? _Golly gee wiz, Patrick. I sure do think you’re swell._

Ten minutes and an awkward conversation about Roland’s bunion problem later, David had returned to the store with drinks and pastries in tow. He found Patrick leaning against the counter, forearms resting on the surface as his head drooped between his shoulders.

“Hey, you okay?” He sat Patrick’s drink next to him and used his now-free hand to squeeze Patrick’s shoulder. One of the few kinds of casual touches he could get away with without raising suspicion.

“I’m fine.” Patrick lifted his head, but didn’t move away from David’s touch, so David didn’t stop touching.

“Clearly it’s not fine. I haven’t seen you in this position since you realized you’d miscalculated a tax thing and we owed more money.”

Patrick looked up at David with those owlishly large eyes. “It’s really stupid. You’re going to laugh.”

David sat his coffee on the counter and decided to go for a touchrun (er, homedown? He really should pay more attention to Patrick’s sports talk) of Patrick shoulder touching. He turned Patrick to fully face him and placed his other hand on Patrick’s hand-less shoulder. “Hey, if you’re upset about it, it’s not stupid. You don’t have to tell me, but I’m here if you want to talk.” _Rely on me. Lean on me. I’m here for you. You can’t count on me._

Patrick dropped his head against the front of David’s shoulder. Okay. That was new. And nice. Very nice. “Promise not to laugh?”

“I promise not to laugh unless it involves something hilarious like Ray walking in on you naked or something.” JFC! Really. Really! That was the first example that came to mind?!

Patrick groaned and lifted his head. “That’s happened more than once.” He held up a finger before David could finish the laugh that started. “And we are _not_ talking about it.”

“You’re no fun.” David lifted his hands off Patrick’s shoulders—extremely reluctantly for the record!—and held them up in surrender.

Patrick picked up his tea. “Thanks for this.”

“Mm. You’re welcome.” David decided to give Patrick some physical space. Maybe he’d be more willing to share if David wasn’t looking for flimsy excuses to paw at his shoulders. It was bad if he willingly touched a polyblend shirt to get a vague sense of the muscle underneath. Ugh. He walked over to the skincare and fixed the already perfect rows.

“I got a text from one of my cousins. They’re giving me shit about coming back for the big Halloween festival. I didn’t go last year because, you know.” Patrick waved a hand. It was alarmingly almost David-esque. They spent so much time together he was picking up David’s mannerisms.

And, yeah, David _did_ know. The elusive Rachel Fiasco. The ex fiancee Patrick had left and moved to Schitt’s Creek to get away from for some reason Patrick had never shared and David had never pressed for. “Yeah. Do you not want to go this year? I can cover the store if you want to.”

Patrick shook his head. “It’s not that. It’s, um, I told myself I wouldn’t go home until I did something and I was planning to do it at the holidays, but my cousin is having his bachelor party over Halloween weekend so there’s pressure to go back this year.” He was rambling. Patrick never rambled. David was the rambler in their whatever their relationship was. He turned to face Patrick fully. He hadn’t heard that tone from Patrick many times, but it was usually followed up with confessions that left David feeling like a curator of Patrick’s secrets. “Did what?”

Patrick looked at David. Really looked at him. It was long, uncomfortable, but David couldn’t look away. Patrick let out a long breath. “I told myself I wouldn’t go home until I told my family I’m gay.”

Oh. Wow. There it was. Almost a year of wondering and hoping and speculating with Stevie (and Alexis and sometimes both of them) and there it was. Words floating in the air between them. A simple arrangement of letters that held David’s desires. He cleared his throat and hoped his face didn’t portray the fuck-ton of hope that threatened to knock David over in a tidal wave. “So, um, you’re not out?”

Patrick’s shoulders dropped. Good. That had been the right response. “No, but I’m not hiding it or avoiding it.” He shrugged. “I’m just not proactively telling people.”

David raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, maybe I’ve been avoiding it.” He paced behind the counter. “If I go back now and tell them, I worry they won’t believe me. That they’ll think it’s a phase or something. Or since I’m single—“

David’s knees nearly gave out with relief. He had suspected as much given how much they talked about their day-to-day lives and how much time they spent together, he’d know if Patrick spent a lot of time with someone, but it was really fucking nice to explicitly hear those words out of Patrick’s mouth.

“—they won’t accept it as easily. I also don’t want to have the conversation a million times. Explain how I didn’t come out until my thirties. How I spent nearly half of my life with a woman I almost married. If I knew when we were together, but kept it a secret. How I could lie to them.”

David took a few steps toward Patrick. “Is it any of their business though? Do they have to know your sexual preferences?”

Patrick dropped his forearms back on the counter again. “That’s the thing. If I don’t come out, then they’ll all needle me about Rachel. When we’ll be getting back together this time or they’ll try to set me up with someone. My family means well, but they are so damn nosy.”

David smirked. He could imagine Patrick’s big family all up in his business. Hearts in the right place but causing trouble along the way. “That’s totally understandable. It sounds like you’re in an impossible situation.”

Patrick smiled. “Thanks for understanding.”

“If you had complete control over the circumstances, how would you want to come out to your family?” He might not be able to fix the problem, but he could support Patrick as he figured it out.

Patrick bit his lower lip and stared at David again with those damn big eyes that held the world. “Ideally?”

David nodded as he took a sip of his coffee.

“I’d take my boyfriend back with me.” Patrick didn’t look away. “They’d see how ridiculously happy I am and there’d be no doubts. No questioning, no awkward set-ups. They’d see me happy and gay and we’d move on with our lives.”

David swallowed the coffee pooling in his mouth. He wanted that. He so badly wanted to be the person on Patrick’s arm who made him that happy. Had Patrick smiling so much that his family knew without a doubt that this was where Patrick was meant to be. He could be that for Patrick.

An idea took shape. A really fucking stupid idea, but he was hopped up on cocoa powder and caffeine and whiskey-brown eyes.

“What if I went back with you?”

Patrick froze. “What do you mean?”

David did his best attempt to look casual, which he didn’t really think he knew how to do? “I could go with you and pretend to be your boyfriend. We get along great, right? You smile around me, even when you want to murder me for my inability to follow your bookkeeping protocols. It might not be exactly what you’d envisioned, but I think we could pull it off. I can be quite charming when I want to.” Now who was rambling?

Patrick laughed. “Oh, I know you can, David.”

That sentence warmed David from the inside more than his coffee. As soon as he looked down at his coffee cup, the spell broke. The power of Patrick’s eyes broken and embarrassment rushing in to fill its place. “It’s a stupid idea. Lying to your family.”

He saw the tips of Patrick’s shoes move into his line of sight. “You’d do that for me?”

David looked up. The siren call of those eyes sucking him right back in. I _’d do anything for you._ “Of course. I mean, as long as your mom makes us the famous lasagna I’ve heard about.”

Patrick’s smile shifted into one David knew more intimately. One that said he was about to say something to knock David on his ass. “I think I could arrange lasagna. It could work. Spending all that time with my business partner and it just sorta happened. Business partners to boyfriends. How could we not fall for each other when we’re around each other all the time?” Those goddamn earnest eyes blinking up at him.

“Fall for each other or kill each other. Who’s to say,” he croaked out. If only it really were that easy. If only he could separate his desires from his crushing doubts long enough to be a fucking adult and tell Patrick how he felt. Even if he never got the chance, a few days as Patrick’s fake boyfriend would be enough. It would have to.

“Thank you, fake boyfriend.” Patrick squeezed David’s shoulder, leaving a permanent brand in the muscle underneath his skin.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey Mom, hey Dad. How are you two doing?” Patrick adjusted the angle of his iPad and leaned it against his knife block.

“Great, kiddo. It’s good to see you. What are you cooking tonight?”

Patrick smiled. “Spaghetti and meatballs. How about you?”

“Lasagna.” His mom returned the smile as she moved around the kitchen.

He enjoyed their weekly dinners. It had taken him months to work himself into regular contact with his parents after he’d left home, but he’d still held back. It had been hard talking to them so much and not coming out to them, but he hadn’t felt ready to share it yet. Every time they talked, he half expected his eagle-eyed mom to ask if he was seeing David with how much he talked about his business partner. David said this, David did that, David’s family tried to do this. David, David, David.

He’d been in Schitt’s Creek for nearly a year and it was time. He’d completely moved on from Rachel, started a business, found a puzzle piece to his identity, and fallen hard for his business partner and close friend. The man responsible for his gay awakening and confirmation of suspicions he’d barely allowed himself to consider his entire life.

“If I come back for the festival, will you make me lasagna?”

His mom crowded close to the screen. “Patty! Are you coming back this year?”

He couldn’t help but laugh at the excitement in her voice and from what he could see on the top half of her face. “I’m thinking about it.”

“Clint! Patty’s coming home for the festival!”

“Kiddo, that’s great. We’d love to see you.” Patrick watched his dad’s face come into view. “They made some great changes to the haunted house last year.”

Patrick grinned at the thought of taking David through the haunted house. He’d _hate_ it. If the time he got David to watch _The Exorcist_ was any indication, David had zero tolerance for scary things. The way he’d curled his face into Patrick’s shoulder had featured in his dreams for weeks after.

“Do you think you’ll see Rachel while you’re here?”

“I think she’s living in Toronto now, Mom. But, about that. Um, there’s something I want to tell you both.” He stopped chopping onions and turned to face the screen. “I wanted to tell you in person, but it’s not going to work out that way.”

“What is it, sweetheart? You can tell us anything?” His parents smiled sweetly at him.

Now or never. He inhaled deeply and thought of David. How David had spent all yesterday afternoon, between customers, answering all of Patrick’s questions about queerness, coming out, etiquette, LGBTQ+ history and milestones. How David had made him feel comfortable and accepted. He should have opened up to David months ago and saved himself an ulcer’s-worth of fretting.

“I’m gay.” He stopped there because he didn’t really know what else to say.

“Thank you for sharing, honey. I’m proud of you. You know, we love you no matter what?” His mom wiped tears from her eyes. He studied their expressions for disappointment or the thousand questions he’d expected, but came up empty. They showed nothing but love.

“Dad?”

“Whatever makes you happy, kiddo. Is there someone special you’ve met?”

Patrick felt his cheeks heat up. “Um, I’m going to bring David back with me to the festival.”

His parents shared a look.

Crap. He hadn’t planned it out enough. Should he tell his parents about the lie or let him believe he was dating David? They knew all about David, of course, but he didn’t want to lie to them. But if he told them, then he’d be asking them to lie to everyone else. If he and David kept it between them, then when they inevitably “broke up,” his parents would understand. They couldn’t mix business and pleasure, is what he’d tell them. He gulped. The thought of their eventual fake breakup had knots forming in his gut.

“I hope you’re planning to stay with us.”

“Absolutely. I promised David lasagna.”

His mom beamed. “I’ll make an extra to freeze and send home with you two. I can’t wait to finally meet him.”

He’d considered getting a hotel for them, but it would be weird not to stay at home. His parents had a no ring, no room-sharing policy anyway, so David would have his own space in their guest room.

For the rest of dinner, they chatted about the festival, his cousin’s upcoming bachelor party and Christmas wedding, and Rose Apothecary. It was easier to talk about that now that he didn’t have to school his joy talking about David out of fear of inviting questions he hadn’t been ready to answer.

“Honey, we can’t wait to meet David. You light up when you talk about him.”

Yeah, he really did. Had David noticed?


	3. Chapter 3

“You’re so fucked, Rose.”

“Ugh. I _know_.” David finished off his glass of two-buck-chuck wine. The most horrifying phrase he’d learned from Stevie, the cheap wine connoisseur.

Stevie doubled over with her laughter. “I can’t believe you volunteered to spend a weekend pretending.”

David refilled his glass. “I’m sure I’ll be able to pretend just fine. I’ve been pretending to like you and be happy in this godforsaken town!”

She rolled her eyes. They both knew that was bullshit. He was plenty happy these days.

He huffed. “I can be charming. His family will love me.”

Stevie sobered and looked at him sternly and if that didn’t strike fear in his heart. “I don’t mean pretending to be in love. I mean pretending to Patrick that you’re _pretending_ to be in love with him.”

“Hey, can we not throw the L-word around like that, please? ‘Kay thanks,” he snipped. But shit. She was right. He didn’t need to worry about appearing convincing in his feelings for Patrick, but rather not smother the ever-loving-shit out of him in the process.

He collapsed back against Stevie’s disgusting couch. “Yeah. I’m fucked.”

She dropped her head on his shoulder. “Hey, look at it this way. Maybe you two will finally stop acting like children and tell each other that you want to take a trip to the bone zone.”

He looked at her in horror. “Excuse you? The _bone zone_. Are you _twelve_?”

“Pardon me. To the _making love_ zone.” She added salt to the wound by using air quotes.

“Oh, fuck right off with that.” He shouldered her head off him.

“It’ll be fine. You don’t have to share a bed with him, do you?”

“Nope. He said his parents have a guest room and some sort of rule about no sharing beds unless he’s married.”

“Jesus.”

“I. Know. I don’t know what I’m walking into.”

She shrugged. “Patrick turned out okay. His parents can’t be that bad.”

That’s what he was worried about. That the earnest allure of Patrick Brewer was a genetic trait, and David would have a weekend taste of an alternate life enveloped into the familial love that produced David’s favorite person. Favorite male person, because Stevie was also his favorite.

“Yeah, I’m sure they’re great.”

“How much of his family do you have to meet?”

He let out a long breath. “A lot of them, I think. There’s a bachelor party. It’s _costumed_.”

Stevie practically vibrated with glee. “Are you going to do a couple’s costume? _Dumb and Dumber_? Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?”

“Okay, rude. And absolutely not. Couple’s costumes are incorrect.”

“You gotta make it good. Something Patrick will love. Woo him with your costuming abilities.”

David rolled his eyes. “I doubt my costume choice would make a big difference.”

She shrugged. “It couldn’t hurt.”

The idea planted itself in his mind. “I guess you’re right. I should pick something he’d know. Though I’ve been kicking around an idea based on this artist I used to work wi—“

“Nope. Nothing you need to think too hard about. Something sexy or from one of Patrick’s favorite movies or something. Or a pun. Patrick loves a good pun.”

“No he doesn’t.”

“Clearly you’ve never seen him laugh his ass off around Ted.”

David snorted. “That’s because Patrick thinks Ted is hot and acts like a lovesick school girl around him.”

But maybe Stevie was onto something. He should select something with Patrick in mind. There was one thing, but it was so far out of his comfort zone it was practically another galaxy. Hell, Patrick would _love_ it. Shit. He knew who he needed to talk to.


	4. Chapter 4

Patrick carefully stowed David’s two suitcases in his trunk, and the (probably) designer roller bags dwarfed his duffel bag. He brushed away the concern that he’d forgotten something. He knew David loved clothes, but two suitcases worth for a long weekend? To be honest, he was kinda excited to learn what David had decided to pack.

He slid into the driver’s seat. “All set?”

David smiled. “Yup. Are you?”

Patrick let out a breath as he stared at the door to David’s motel room. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

David briefly squeezed Patrick’s arm. He missed the contact as soon as David pulled his hand back. “It’s going to be great. Your family will think you’re head-over-heels in love with the best thing to happen to you since you discovered blue button-ups.”

Patrick looked at David and noted the faint flush of his cheeks. Of course they’d think that. Selling being in love with David Rose was the last thing on his worry list. “Thanks for doing this.”

“You’re welcome.” David’s voice was uncharacteristically soft.

“I assume you have a road trip playlist?”

“Three, actually. Divas, 80s dance hits or power ballads?”

“80s dance hits. I think that’ll set a good tone for the weekend, no? Start with high energy.”

He glanced over at David as he backed out of the motel parking lot and caught his small smile. “Good choice.”

“Forgot to mention, there’s a bag behind my seat with snacks. I got those chocolate bars you like.”

David gasped and reached behind the seat. “You’re the best!”

“Better than all the rest?” He smirked and caught David’s eye.

“That’s on the divas playlist. I see you have good taste.”

“I certainly do.” If David only knew.

He had David Rose in his car for hours. Would have him non-stop in his orbit for days. They’d be sleeping under the same roof. Over the past few weeks since David had offered to be his fake boyfriend, the whole thing felt sort of abstract in his mind. Like waking from an amazing dream but not quite able to clearly define it. But now that they were on the road? It started to feel real.

After an hour or so of singing and awkward car dancing, they stopped for a quick lunch and bathroom break. David didn’t immediately start the music when they got back in the car. He knew from their regular vendor pick-ups that it meant he wanted to talk.

“Will you tell me about your family?”

Patrick glanced at him. “Sure. What do you want to know?”

David waved his hands. “If I’m going to pass as your boyfriend, I should probably know some things. I don’t know, whatever kind of things you share about your family when you’re dating someone?”

Rachel knew everything. It wasn’t a fair comparison. “Good point. Hmm, what kind of things do you usually share about your family when you’re dating someone?”

David’s fingers toyed with the hem of his sweater. “Oh, um, I don’t know. I’m not really- I mean, I don’t. Um.” David huffed out a breath. “I haven’t really had a partner like that before? Not one I shared that kind of stuff with. Lots of flings and casual things.”

David’s words hit Patrick like a punch to the gut. He knew David had a rich dating history, but he’d never considered that David hadn’t had a real relationship before. Who wouldn’t want to date David in that way? What kind of assholes had he surrounded himself with in his old life?

“Their loss.”

David snorted.

“Seriously. Well, if you were dating someone like me—” He winked at David because he could. “—I’d tell you that I’m an only child with parents who have been married for forty years. They’re kind and caring and love to tease each other.”

“Mm. So, that’s where you get it.” David’s tone was playful.

Fondness bloomed in Patrick’s chest. “It is. You’ll see. Are you ready for three Brewers teasing you?”

“Are you ready for me to win your parents over so they join me in teasing _you_?”

Patrick laughed so loudly it echoed around the car. This weekend was going to be so much fun. “They’re going to love you.” His laughter faded at the sober reminder he wished he were taking David back as his real boyfriend.

“What about your cousin? The one getting married?”

“He’s a few years younger than me. I’m closer to his older sister, Kate. We’re the same age, but he and I used to play sports together growing up.”

“Is everyone in your family sporty?”

Patrick flashed a sheepish smile. “Pretty much, yeah. You’re lucky my cousin isn’t getting married in the summer, otherwise there’d be a wedding baseball game. Unless they’re going to do a hockey game. Can you ice skate?” He couldn’t resist teasing David. The way his eyebrows shot up toward his hairline made it worth it.

“Absolutely not. Nope. I draw the line team sports. Why anyone would want further division in this political climate is beyond me.”

God, he was so smitten. “We’ll put you on hot chocolate duty then.”

David nodded once and sat up straighter in his bucket seat. “That I can do.”

Patrick filled him in on more family highlights as they drove. David asked thoughtful questions and seemed to work hard to retain as much information as he could.

“So, um, is your ex going to be around?” Patrick noticed David spinning one of his silver rings. Two on his forefinger, two on his ring finger that day.

He kept his attention on the road ahead. “I think she lives in Toronto now. Probably not?” He’d tried to find out without blatantly asking about it because the the last thing he needed was one of his well-meaning friends or cousins to reach out to tell her he hoped she’d be there.

“But maybe she’ll come back home for the weekend like you. What are you going to do if you see her?”

Patrick let out a rough breath. He hadn’t allowed himself to consider she might travel home as he was. If he did see her, she’d know right away why it didn’t work out. A selfish part of him hoped she’d be there so she could see it instead of him having to explain. But he owed her more than that. If she wasn’t there, he should probably reach out before word got back to her that Patrick had brought a boyfriend home.

“I’ll tell her. I owe her an explanation.” He glanced at David and saw his mouth open and close. David ended up staying silent. He might as well give David the full context. “Uh, I haven’t dated any men yet.”

David’s head snapped toward Patrick. “You haven’t?”

“No. By the time I realized it, I—“ _Fell for my business partner. Didn’t want to date anyone else because I wanted you. Have been working up the courage to tell you how I feel._ “—it wasn’t a priority. If I’d been dating, I would have told her, but it felt weird to tell her without me having acted on it I guess.” He trailed off.

“That’s, um, understandable.” Patrick couldn’t read David’s tone, but, damn, he wished he could.

They remained silent for a few kilometers, and Patrick wished he could read David’s mind. He wanted to know why David offered to do Patrick this huge favor and what he must think of him. Being afraid to come out to his family and ex. Needing someone else to help him do it.

“Have you given any thought to PDA?” David broke the silence in a casual tone.

Patrick choked on an inhale. “PDA?”

David angled his body toward Patrick and bit the corner of his mouth. “Public displays of affection, Patrick.”

Patrick squirmed at the sound of David’s teasing voice. “I know what PDA stands for, David.”

“Okay, then have you given thought to whether we’ll D our PA?”

Dammit. Patrick’s shoulder’s shook with his quiet laughter. “No, I haven’t.” Yes, he had. A lot. A hell of a lot. Next to worrying about his family’s reaction, that was the part of the weekend he’d thought about the most. Many times. Possibly late at night and in the shower, even.

“We should probably talk about it. How affectionate were you with Rachel?”

Patrick cleared his throat. “Um, I wasn’t really? I never felt compelled to casually touch her.” He glanced at David again and saw his mouth in an O-shape. Patrick found ways to casually touch David all the time, and he could see David coming to the same realization.

“I suppose that makes sense. With you being gay and all. Do you think we should be affectionate? Or do you consider yourself anti-PDA across the board?”

“I’m pro-PDA. Definitely pro-PDA.” A grin broke through before he could stop it.

“Okay. That works for me.” He didn’t look at David, but he heard the smile in his voice. “Let’s see. What about casual touches like hands on waists, arms, shoulders?”

Like they already did around the store? “Definitely comfortable with that.” He bit his lower lip to stop a huge smile. “You?”

“Yes, I’m comfortable with that. Holding hands?”

Patrick nodded and felt his lips twitch. “Green.”

David let out a small gasp. “Are you traffic lighting me right now?”

“I believe I am.”

“Patrick Brewer, you are full of surprises.” David pulled his left leg up to angle even further toward Patrick, as much as he seemingly could manage in a car with his long, lean legs. “And that’s green for me too. Hugs?”

“Still green.”

“Mm. Me too. Kisses?”

Patrick’s body temperature skyrocketed at the prospect of kissing David. Even chaste kisses in passing. “Green,” he cleared the frog from his throat. “Green,” he managed in a more steady voice.

“Green for me too. Well, that’s settled then.”

Yes, yes it was. He’d kiss David Rose as often as he could get away with.


	5. Chapter 5

“You weren’t lying about the love for Halloween around here.” David studied the homes they passed. Homes with ghosts hanging from trees, pumpkins on nearly every doorstep, spiders on lawns. It was tacky and garish, but also… charming?

Patrick pulled behind a silver sedan not unlike Patrick’s car. “Home sweet, home.”

David stared at the cute suburban, two-story home with a “happy Halloween” banner hanging in a large bay window and spiderwebs hanging from the corners of the porch. The house had pale gray paneling, white trim and a matching sapphire front door and garage. Of course there was blue on the house. “Is your love of blue a genetic thing?”

Patrick looked ahead. “Huh. I’d never thought about it.”

David opened his door and shook his head. “Is your bedding blue too?”

“Blue’s a pretty common color, David.”

“So that’s a yes.” David snorted.

Patrick got out of the car and pulled bags from the trunk. By the time David had packed up the snacks and collected the trash, Patrick already had the trunk closed and suitcases waiting. He slid his duffel’s long strap over his shoulder and picked up one of David’s rollers.

“You don’t have to do that. I can get my bags.” He used his free hand to try and tug it from Patrick, but he dodged David’s attempt.

“Babe, let me carry your bag.” Patrick winked at him.

“Oh, we’re doing ‘babe’ are we?”

Patrick walked up the two steps onto the compact porch. “Would you prefer shnookums? Sweetie-pie? Dollface?”

“I mean, ‘David’ works, but I suppose ‘babe’ is fine. If you must.” He bit the corner of his mouth.

Patrick opened the front door. “Mom? Dad? We’re home!”

_We’re_ home. Fucking swoon.

David inhaled deeply and shaped his mouth into a smile as he crossed the threshold of Patrick’s childhood home to meet his parents. The parents of his fake boyfriend, but hopefully someday real boyfriend. His first time “meeting” anyone’s parents.

“Patty!” A woman shouted from somewhere in the house.

“Patty?”

“Yes, Davie?” Patrick smirked.

“Right. No Patty. Got it.” He sat his bag on the floor next to where Patrick had dropped the two he’d brought in.

A short, plump woman rounded a corner with her arms held wide. “Sweetheart! You’re home!” Her voice cracked and David winced. From what David had gathered, Patrick had been very close with his parents before he’d packed up and fled to Schitt’s Creek. It had to have been a tough year for the elder Brewers with Patrick far away and starting a new life. He’d do everything he could to show them that Patrick was in good hands.

“Hey, Mom.” He laughed as she squeezed him and placed kisses on his cheeks.

She pulled back and cupped her hands on his cheeks. “You look good, Patty. Happy.”

He shot a quick glance at David. If he had a weekend of those sweet smiles ahead of him, he might not make it through. “I’m very happy.”

Marcy Brewer turned her attention to David. He gulped, but held his smile. “Mrs. Brewer. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” David held out his hand. Instead of grabbing it to shake, she used it to pull him into a hug.

“Marcy, please. David, sweetheart, it’s wonderful to finally meet you. We’ve heard so much about you.” She squeezed him with surprising strength. “Thanks for taking care of our boy.”

David squeezed his eyes closed to fight back tears. “He takes care of me most of the time.” She laughed and released him. He didn’t dare look at Patrick because he could sense the fondness emanating from him like he had a built-in WiFi signal booster.

“Are you two hungry? I’ve got a lasagna ready to put in the oven.”

As if on cue, David’s stomach growled and the Brewers laughed. “Patrick has told me all about the famous Marcy Brewer lasagna. I can’t wait.”

She winked at him. The same awkward full wink in one eye and half wink in the other that Patrick did sometimes. “I made a second one to freeze and send home with you boys.”

David placed a hand over his heart. “You are my new favorite person.”

“Hey!” Patrick knocked David’s shoulder.

Marcy giggled. “I’ll let you two settle in while I get the lasagna in the oven.”

“Thanks, Mom. David, you can have my room and I’ll take the guest room so you can sleep later.” At David’s frown, he explained, “My room’s in the basement so you won’t be bothered by that pesky sun.” He grinned.

An entire weekend of getting to snoop around Patrick’s childhood bedroom? Yes, please! “Okay, thank you.”

“Oh, honey, didn’t I tell you? We turned the guest room into a craft room. There’s no longer a bed in there. You two will have to share.” She winked at David then disappeared around the corner she’d come from minutes ago.

David stared after her. Uh. What? Share a bed? But no ring, no bed sharing! Of all the possible scenarios his anxiety had forced him to think through, sharing a bed had not been one.

Patrick turned to him once Marcy was out of earshot. All tense shoulders and creases in his forehead. “David, I’m sorry. I had no idea. I can see if there’s a hotel,” his voice was low. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

David cleared his throat. “No, no. That won’t be necessary. We wouldn’t exactly look very boyfriend-y if I stayed in a hotel.” Patrick looked stricken, but David wasn’t sure if it was he felt bad for David or didn’t want to share. “Unless you’re not comfortable with it? Then I can stay somewhere else. Whatever you want.” He attempted a reassuring smile.

Patrick studied him for a moment and a blush crept up his neck. “Uh, green.” He let out a rough laugh.

David bit back a beaming smile so hard he’d probably leave a mark. “Green for me, too. Lead the way.” Oh. My God. Sharing a bed with Patrick for a weekend? Causal touches? Maybe cuddles? Probable kisses? He’d show Patrick he was real boyfriend material. Maybe he’d even be able to convince himself of that.

Patrick grabbed one of David’s bags again and led him down a hallway and through a door down some stairs. “It’s a fully finished basement. When I was a teenager, my dad and I worked on it together because I wanted my own space and wasn’t too keen on sharing a wall with my parents.”

“You were a wise teenager.” David took in the surroundings. The stairs led to an open room with two oversized bean bag chairs on the floor, an old TV as deep as a recliner, a boxing bag hanging from the ceiling, and sports posters on every wall. He’d pay good money to watch a sweaty Patrick go to town on that boxing bag. “Planning to do some training while you’re here?” He’d almost managed to sound casual.

“Why? Want me to show you some things?” Patrick winked. Jesus fucking christ.

“I can sleep on a bean bag chair or the couch in the living room.”

“Patrick, it’s fine. We’re adults. Unless you have a twin bed?”

Patrick laughed. “It’s a queen.”

“That’s more space than I sleep on in the motel. It’s fine.”

Patrick led him to a door at the far end of the basement. “Bathroom is over there and this is the bedroom.” He pushed open the door to reveal a cozy space with a pine dresser, metal desk, pine bookshelf filled with books and trophies and framed photos. And a bed with a navy blue duvet. Of course, the curtains on the high, short window were a matching blue.

“So this is where a young Patrick Brewer spent his formative years. You have a lot of posters of men around here.” He eyed the decor. Men everywhere. Men on ice. Men holding bats. Men in various uniforms.

Patrick slowly spun in a circle as though viewing his room for the first time. “You know, I’d like to say this should have been a clue, but everyone on my teams had these kind of posters. It was how sporty teenage boys decorated, I guess.”

David sat his bag on the ground next to Patrick’s desk. “I suppose it all depends on how much time you spent looking at these posters.” He arched an eyebrow and grinned at Patrick’s blush.

“A normal amount.”

“Mmkay. Mind if I freshen up before dinner? Or do you need the bathroom first?”

“All yours. See you upstairs?”

David nodded and turned to his suitcases. Patrick squeezed his shoulder as he passed. And the casual touches begin.

After a bathroom visit and fixing of his hair, David made his way upstairs.

“I’m so glad you’re home, Patty. We’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too, Mom.”

“David seems lovely. You didn’t tell me he’s so handsome!”

“Didn’t I?” David smiled at the squeak in Patrick’s voice as he walked through the doorway at the top of the stairs.

“You’re a catch, sweetheart, but he’s way out of your league.”

David barked out a laugh, then slapped a hand over his mouth.

“We’re in the kitchen, David.” Patrick was laughing too.

David followed the voice. “Hi.” He grinned at Patrick. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I could hear you as I walked up the stairs.”

“It’s true, sweetheart. You’re a catch.” Sweetheart. Aww!

“Mom!” Patrick buried his face in his hands.

This weekend was going to be so much fun. “Thank you, Mrs. Brew- Marcy. How can I help?” He walked further into the kitchen.

She beamed at him. “How about you two pick out a bottle of wine and pour us a glass.”

“Do you have your car keys, _sugar_?” David smirked at Patrick. “I can grab the gift basket we put together.”

Patrick smiled fondly at him as he dug in his pocket. “Thanks, _darlin_ ’.”

Emboldened by Marcy’s compliments, David grabbed the keys from Patrick’s hand, trailing his fingertips up his forearm, and leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Be right back.” Patrick’s quick inhale of breath at the contact would feature in David’s dreams tonight. Probably tomorrow night too.

He walked outside and almost ran into a tall, stocky man. “Oh, hello! Mr. Brewer?”

“Clint, please. You must be David.” He held out a broad hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise. Thank you so much for allowing me to tag along with Patrick this weekend. I’m looking forward to getting to know you both.” Those were things a boyfriend would say, right? A bit formal sounding, but he’d rather err on the side of over polite. He hoped he wasn’t screwing this up already.

“As are we. Patrick has sounded so happy this past year. We were worried we wouldn’t see him happy like that again.” Patrick’s dad rocked back on his heels. “Thanks for your part in that.”

David’s cheeks heated. “We make each other happy.” It was true. Though they weren’t actually boyfriends, he knew with complete certainty that they were good friends and were important to each other. He jerked his thumb to Patrick’s car. “Going to grab a gift basket we put together with some items from the store.”

“See you in there, David.” Clint shifted his lunchbag to his right hand and strode into the house.

So far, so good. He pulled the gift basket from the backseat and returned to the house.

Dinner was ten times more comfortable than David had allowed himself to imagine. The Brewers bantered with each other and shared hilarious stories of Patrick’s childhood exploits. Patrick bragged about the store and David’s skills in building relationships with vendors and sourcing products, which left him damn near breathless. He had no idea Patrick felt that way about him, but the ease with which he spoke of David made it clear he spoke from his heart. But most startling of all were the questions Clint and Marcy asked him. Questions informed enough to indicate Patrick spoke of David often. Not just the story, but him, his family, his life, _their_ life.

When they’d each finished seconds, David stood to collect the dishes, but Marcy protested. “Please, you cooked the best lasagna I’ve ever had. The least I can do is clean up.”

She smiled widely and handed him her plate. “Thank you, sweetheart.” She’d called him that a dozen times, at least, and he was already addicted to the resulting warmth that bloomed in his stomach each time.

“I’ll help.” Patrick stood and collected more dishes, following David into the kitchen side of the kitchen-dining room combination space.

David carefully placed the dishes in the sink and turned on the faucet. “That was even better than you promised.”

Patrick grinned at him. “Good thing we have more to take home with us.”

We.

Us.

Swoon!

“I think you’re going to have to learn how to make it. Lasagna lunches could be a thing at the store.” He glanced at Patrick and found him smiling to himself as he opened the dishwasher.

“I like the sound of that.”

David bit his bottom lip.

After enjoying an apple crisp for dessert, they went to the living room. Marcy and Clint settled in their worn recliners as he and Patrick were left to the couch. It was L-shaped, and Patrick dropped onto the chaise end and stretched out his legs. Clearly that was his seat. David quickly glanced at the cushion next to Patrick or the one at the opposite end. What would a boyfriend do? Probably sit close because he was supposed to want to be around Patrick. He sat on the cushion and tucked his feet under him. Patrick shifted his legs over like he was making room for David’s, and then he looked up and smiled sweetly at him.

That worked. That was boyfriend-y. They weren’t touching, but it looked like they were comfortable around each other. Right? He hoped so. Risking a look at Patrick’s parents, David found Marcy smiling at him with the same fond expression he’d seen on Patrick’s face a million times. Yup. The Brewers were going to be the death of him.

“ _Great Canadian Baking Show_?” Clint paused on his channel surfing.

“Yes!” David and Marcy shouted at the same time.


	6. Chapter 6

Patrick couldn’t stop smiling as he unpacked his bag. David fit with his parents even better than he’d hoped for, and he knew they’d love him. “That went well.” He looked over at David as he unzipped one of his suitcases.

“It did. Your parents are great.” David looked over his shoulder and smiled shyly. “I had fun.”

His shoulders relaxed. “Good. That’s good.” He pulled out his toiletry bag and turned to face David. “It’s still kind of early. Want to watch a movie?”

“Sure.”

“Bean bags, old TV and VHS or bed, laptop and Netflix?”

David raised his chin. “Take me to your VHS collection and then I’ll decide.”

Soon they were settled on bean bags and watching _Labyrinth_. “I didn’t expect you to be a _Labyrinth_ fan.”

David gaped at him. “Excuse you. Have you _seen_ David Bowie’s codpiece?” His voice went shrill. “And Jennifer Connelly looked gorgeous in that dress.”

Patrick tipped his head back and guffawed. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have known.”

David settled deeper into the bean bag, looking pleased. “If you aren’t here for the codpiece, why do you love it?”

“The singing. And, upon further reflection and analysis, maybe the codpiece.” It was so easy to be around David. A part of him had worried that without the store as a buffer, they’d run out of things to talk about. But after a full day together, they hadn’t run out yet, and on the occasional brief silence, they were comfortable.

“Hmph.” David smirked at him.

Patrick sang along with the songs as David mumbled about it not being an exception to the “no talking during movies” rule, but his words had no bite.

High school Patrick would be freaking the hell out to know someone like David Rose would end up being in his special space. Watching one of his favorite movies and about to share a bed. Even platonically. He looked over and smiled at how comfortable David looked in the bean bag chair with his gray sweater with panthers on the shoulders clashing with the royal blue cover. Sunk deep into the beanbag and smiling softly at the movie while resting his cheek on his hand with his legs stretched out in front of him.

“I’m glad you’re here, David.” He caught David’s smile widen before he turned to look at Patrick.

“Me too. If I knew fake dating you meant lasagna, apple crisp, _Great Canadian Baking Show_ , and _Labyrinth_ , I’d have suggested this ages ago.” David’s dimples deepened with his sideways grin.

“If only I’d known that’s all it took.” He hoped David could pick up the truth in Patrick’s words. He turned back to the movie before he said too much. They had all weekend. He had all weekend to show David that they should make it real.

Patrick yawned when the credits started. “I think I’m going to turn in. The drive is catching up to me. You’re welcome to stay up and spend more time with the codpiece if you like. Make yourself at home.”

David yawned. “I think I’ll head to bed too. Beauty sleep for the weekend.” He raised a sleepy eyebrow. “Plus, I have a feeling I’m in a house full of early birds.

“You’re not wrong.” Patrick easily climbed out of the bean bag after years of practice. David wasn’t as lucky, so Patrick reached out a hand. David took it, and Patrick pulled him up a bit too hard causing David to stumble into his chest.

“Oomph. Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Patrick said softly, not letting go of David’s hand. They stared in each other’s eyes. He felt hypnotized.

David quickly glanced down. “I was thinking,” he said to Patrick’s lips.

“Yeah?”

He looked back up into Patrick’s eyes. “You said green on public kisses, right?”

He didn’t recall specifying _public_ but he nodded because there was no way he could manage words without sounding like a he hadn’t hit puberty yet.

“And you said you hadn’t actually dated any guys yet. I’m guessing maybe that means you haven’t kissed a man?”

Patrick looked down at their still-clasped hands. “Um, no. Not yet.”

“So,” David’s voice turned soft. “Would be weird for your first gay kiss to be something in passing in front of your family or friends?”

Patrick’s breath hitched. He hadn’t thought about that, but yes. He didn’t want that at all.

At Patrick’s silence, David continued. “I don’t feel great about that being your first gay kiss.”

“You raise a good point,” Patrick whispered.

“We need to look convincing too, right? We should look practiced.”

“I can’t argue with that logic,” Patrick managed.

David looked down at Patrick’s lips for several seconds. “Can I kiss you?”

Patrick nodded as he leaned in. David wrapped his free hand around the back of Patrick’s head, and their fingers intertwined on their clasped hands. God, his hands were so wonderfully big. They palmed the whole back of his head. David held his gaze as he leaned in, not closing his eyes until their lips touched. The contact was soft, sweet, but not nearly enough. Patrick wrapped his free arm around David’s waist and slotted his upper lip between David’s as he tilted his head and kissed him back. Though the contact was fairly chaste, it was like an adrenaline shot to his heart. Blood rushed through his body and his heart thundered in his ears. It lasted only seconds, but his entire world shifted and righted itself. David released a delicious sigh before pulling back and dropping the hand from the back of Patrick’s head.

After a moment, Patrick opened his eyes, and his mouth curved into a wide smile. “That was perfect. Thank you, David.” He rubbed his thumb on the back of David’s hand and rubbed his other hand up David’s back.

“You’re welcome.” David looked down, but Patrick didn’t miss his side smile. “You want the bathroom first? I have a whole skincare routine,” he said, waving his free hand.  
Patrick squeezed David’s hand once, then released it. “Sure.” He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face if he tried, so he turned and walked back to the bedroom feeling lighter than he had in years.

With his toiletry bag in tow, Patrick got ready for bed. It took twice as long as normal because he kept losing track of time thinking about the feeling of David’s lips on his own. If a closed-mouth kiss had been that great, he couldn’t fathom what anything else would be like with him. David’s tongue in his mouth, fingers gripping his ass, his hand on Patrick’s cock, David’s cock in Patrick’s mouth, David thrusting inside of him. God, what he’d give to have all of his firsts with David.

If he hadn’t already spent so much time in the bathroom, he’d have considered jerking off before getting in bed with David, but he’d been in there long enough that David would know.

He left the bathroom and walked back to the bedroom. “All yours.”

David stood from the end of the bed and carried his gigantic toiletry bag with him. “Thanks.”

Patrick changed into his pajama pants and a soft sleep shirt. He plugged in his cellphone charger on his nightstand and settled into bed. If he was a considerate host, he’d have offered to find David a separate set of blankets so David could have his own space as much as possible. But, he wasn’t that considerate. He wanted to feel the heat from David’s body under the covers with him. If this was his only chance to ever share a bed with David, he’d make the most of whatever he could get.

But if David wanted separate blankets, he’d happily grab them.


	7. Chapter 7

The first thing David became aware of was a cozy heat enveloping his body. Much warmer than mornings at the hotel in his tiny bed. He blinked an eye open and found Patrick on his side facing him. In a moment, the memory of their kiss flooded his mind. A perfect first kiss. He’d spent _a lot_ of time imagining the press of Patrick’s lips against his, and it was even better than he’d hoped. He couldn’t wait to do it again, even in quick passing to look like affectionate boyfriends. But hopefully thoroughly and privately too.

He studied the sleeping man next to him as soft puffs of air tickled David’s cheeks. Taking inventory of his body, he noticed several points of contact with Patrick. Feet tangled, knees pressed against each other, pinkies hooked together. That alone felt more intimate than spooning. As though they were too warm to spoon but had to maintain some contact.

Wait. How was he awake before Patrick? He lifted his head to read the time on the clock on the nightstand behind Patrick. Just before eight. Much earlier than he’d want to be awake, but he’d gone to bed earlier than normal. It seemed late for Patrick.

Coffee. He needed coffee very soon. But first, he had to find a way to disentangle his feet from Patrick without waking him. He carefully slid one foot back, and Patrick didn’t move. He started to pull the second back, but Patrick shifted and let out a soft sigh as he pressed his head forward like a heat-seeking missile. His forehead rested against David’s shoulder and he let out another sigh.

Fuck. The compulsion to wrap Patrick up in his arms was nearly as strong as breathing. David paused his disentanglement attempt to allow himself a few moments of joy. He may never get the chance to wake up to Patrick after the weekend and he wanted to enjoy every moment he could.

After a bit, David realized Patrick’s breath had shifted from occasional soft snores to nothing. A soft flutter against his sleep shirt drew his attention to his shoulder. He focused on the sensations. Patrick’s eyelashes as he blinked? A slight tug of the cotton. Oh, God. Was Patrick _smiling_?!

It would be easy to pretend he didn’t notice, but what good would that do? Keep them in limbo forever? He heard Stevie in his head taunting him to quick being a gigantic wuss. “Are you awake?” He whispered in his sleep-roughed voice.

“No,” Patrick answered in a tone David hadn’t heard before. His morning voice was sexy as hell.

David chuckled and lightly tugged the pinky hooked with Patrick’s, but not hard enough to dislodge it. More, point out that point of contact in case Patrick hadn’t noticed yet. “Mornin’. Sleep okay?”

Patrick let out a long breath. “Great sleep, actually. Best in a while. I think I slept later than usual.”

“This is practically the crack of dawn for me,” David grumbled. He itched to roll on his back and pull Patrick against him.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Great. This beats the motel bed and Alexis’s snores.”

Patrick’s soft laughs reverberated in David’s chest. Neither seemed willing to move and burst the bubble, but David’s bladder was about to be a cuddleblock.

“Are your parents tea drinkers too or is there coffee upstairs?”

“There’s coffee, don’t worry.” David’s shirt tugged again. Patrick was definitely smiling. “And I’m sure pancakes.”

David’s stomach growled. “The magic word. I love pancakes.”

“I know.”

David bit his lower lip and smiled. It was already the best weekend he’d had in ages and it hadn’t even begun. How great would it be to wake up with Patrick all the time? Soft, sleepy conversations before letting the real world in.

“I guess we should get you caffeinated. You’re going to need your energy to get through all the tacky decorations and kitschy small town activities.”

David used his free foot to kick Patrick gently. “Excuse you, I am quite excited about these kitschy small town activities. I have expectations of a Hallmark-esque experience.”

“Are you the big city corporate guy in town to buy local farmland to develop it but end up falling for the farmer’s son in the process?”

“If anyone’s the corporate guy in this Hallmark movie, it’s you. Have you seen your wardrobe, Mr. Fifty Shades of Blue Button-Ups?”

“That makes you the farmer’s son, huh? I didn’t picture you working the land in your designer sweaters.”

David bit the corner of his mouth. “Fair point. How about corporate guy passing through and his car breaks down. He happens to meet the devastatingly charming owner of a bakery.”

“That seems more on brand for you.”

“I do like a good cupcake.”

“Did I tell you there’s a cupcake bakery downtown?”

“You most certainly did not! I take it that’s part of the weekend’s agenda.”

“Obviously.”

“Good.” He smiled and enjoyed the now-familiar tug of his shirt where Patrick’s mouth was.

Patrick’s phone buzzed, and he groaned. Bubble burst. “I don’t know who would be texting me. I’m under the same roof with the three people I text the most.”

Knowing he was included in that short list gave David more energy than a thousand cups of coffee could. “Maybe it’s one of your hundred cousins telling you they’re on their way over because they missed your face.”

“Ugh.”

David kicked him again. “Come on. That’s why we’re here.”

Patrick groaned and reached over to fumble for his phone. David immediately missed the contact of Patrick’s pinky and head against his shoulder.

“It’s my mom saying she’ll cook us breakfast whenever we’re ready. I’m surprised she didn’t come down here and tell us herself.”

“She’s probably worried she’ll interrupt something.” David froze as soon as the words left his mouth. It was one thing to think about morning sex with Patrick and fantasize about all the ways their kiss last night could have gone, but to say it aloud while loosely tangled up with his business partner was something else entirely.

“Sometimes I forget I’m not in high school any longer.”

“I bet high school you never thought you’d have a man in your bed.” David shimmied his shoulders to lighten the mood.

“That’s for sure .” Patrick dropped his head on his pillow and smiled fondly at David. “If he could see me now.”

In moments like that, David would bet money Patrick had feelings for him. His eyes were so damn expressive. If David were a bolder man, he’d say, _hey, I get the feeling you might like me. Guess what? I like you too. Want to go on a date?_ But he wasn’t a bold man. He was semi-bold and trying to find more ink.

Once David had brushed his teeth and fixed his hair to the best pre-shower state he could manage, he joined Patrick upstairs.

“Good morning, David. Sleep okay?” Marcy smiled at David from the dining table.

“I slept great. Thank you, Marcy. Did you sleep well?” He clocked Patrick’s shy smile as he sat across the dining table from his mom. Both Brewers clutched wide-mouthed, blue speckled ceramic mugs with tea tags dangling.

“I did. It’s great to have my boy home for a visit.” She reached across the table and squeezed Patrick’s hand.

Patrick dipped his head for a moment, then sprung to his feet. “Coffee should be ready.”

David watched helplessly as Patrick pressed the lever of a perfectly clean French press (was it brand new?!) down and poured it into a blue ceramic mug. “There’s milk, caramel sauce and cocoa powder.” He jerked his chin toward another part of the counter.

David looked at the drip coffee caramel macchiato makings lined up in a neat row like the bottles in their store. “You didn’t have—“ He looked between Marcy and Patrick, admiring their matching sweet smiles. Of course they didn’t have to, but they did because they were nice people. “Thank you. This is very kind of you.”

“Can’t starve that sweet tooth of yours.” Patrick reached up and kissed David’s cheek. It was a miracle he managed to stop himself from touching the spot.

Marcy and Patrick chatted about the weekend’s activities as David fixed his coffee. He couldn’t help but notice a nearly full bag of coffee beans next to the pristine French press. The Brewers were something else. He sat at the table and hummed happily at his brew. Patrick flashed a knowing smile and knocked his knee against David’s.

“What’s on the agenda for today?”

“First up, pumpkin pancakes. That sound good for breakfast?” Marcy directed her question to David.

“That sounds perfect,” he said more breathily than he intended. The Brewers laughed at him. David would be the most grateful recipient of pumpkin pancakes Marcy ever met.

“After breakfast, I thought I could show you around town.”

“Are you going to show me the baseball court you played in?”

Patrick chuckled. “Yes, I’ll take you there. And cupcakes, of course.” He winked at David.

Happy sigh.

“Later, I thought we could go to the haunted house before the _Hocus Pocus_ viewing party at the high school. It’s an annual tradition. Half the town shows up.”

“Haunted house?!” David’s eyes went wide. “I’ve always wanted to go to one of those.”

Patrick’s expression turned to that soft one he used every time he realized how David didn’t have a normal childhood. He quickly glanced at Marcy and found a similar expression.

“I hope you don’t mind getting scared.”

David rolled his eyes as he took a drink of coffee. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m an adult, Patrick.”

Marcy and Patrick snorted. Okay. A double serving of that snort was a bit much but also ridiculously charming.

“I think I have a photo around here of Patrick screaming in the haunted house one year when he came back from college.”

David turned to Marcy. “Marcy, I’m _definitely_ going to need to see that, along with any other incriminating, adorable, or goofy photos you have of Patrick.

“I’ll see what I can gather today.” She winked at him as Patrick groaned.

Marcy stood. “I’ll make pancakes. You boys sit.”

“Can- can I help?” David was surprised to realize he was genuinely asking and not merely being polite.

Marcy studied him for a moment and seemed to sense the same. “I’d love your help, sweetheart.”

Patrick squeezed David’s thigh under the table. Not a fake boyfriend move since his mom couldn’t even see it. He stood from the table and gave Patrick’s shoulder a quick squeeze.

Marcy walked David through the steps to make pumpkin pancakes. He laughed at the stories she told of Patrick and all the ways he jumped in to correct her. David was surrounded by love in that home and couldn’t help but wonder how differently he would have ended up if he’d grown up in such an environment.

“See how they’re bubbling? Stick the spatula underneath one and lift a bit to check the bottom. You want them to be golden-brown.”

David did as instructed.

“Perfect. Now flip them.”

She made it sound easy, but he felt clumsy with the spatula and odd angle of the griddle. He managed it with only slight cosmetic damage.

“Great job. Stack them on the plate and dump more batter.”

A few minutes later, he had a nice stack of pancakes on a plate. He carried the plate over to the table where Marcy had already set things up.

“Chocolate sauce if you want to draw a jack o’ lantern face. Butter, maple syrup, powdered sugar.”

“I don’t think I ever want to leave. This house has all of my favorite things.” He grinned at Patrick. “Foods. Favorite foods.” He cleared his throat and looked at Marcy. “I love sugar.”

She looked between the two of them and smiled as she lifted a pancake onto each of their plates. “Clint is going to be disappointed he had to work through pumpkin pancakes.”

David drew a face on each of the three pancakes he ate and smiled the whole time.


	8. Chapter 8

“The town’s cuter than I expected.”

Patrick smiled to himself as he studied the options in the cupcake display case. “How does it compare to Schitt’s Creek?”

David snorted. “Aesthetically, there’s no comparison.”

He didn’t miss David’s qualifier. “Fair. Otherwise?”

David shrugged, but he didn’t look away from the cupcakes. “The people in Schitt’s Creek aren’t awful, I guess. But our store fits much better in a town like this. Main Street is adorable. The Hallmark vibes are strong here.”

“It’s so nice to get out of the big city for a few days.” Patrick shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced at David. “All that traffic and noise. Gee, I got lucky my car broke down a town cute as this.” He risked another look at David, hoping he’d catch the joke.

“It’s a good thing you found my cupcake bakery as I, a successful small business owner, have a phone, to, you know, call the mechanic. But, darn, they’re closed so I guess you’re stuck here for a few days.” David did an exaggerate aww-shucks arm swoosh and snap.

“Darn indeed.”

David’s tucked-in grin damn near knocked Patrick on his ass.

“Hi there. Can I get you two anything?” An older woman smiled at them as she walked through a doorway from what appeared to be the kitchen.

“Hello. A couple of questions for you.” David used his vendor negotiation voice and it shot a jolt straight through Patrick’s pelvis.

“Sure. How can I help?”

“Do your cupcakes need refrigeration, and how long do they last in or out of the fridge?”

Patrick settled on his flavors as the woman answered all of his questions. David bought them half a dozen cupcakes for the weekend and ride home.

“Want to eat one here before we wander around some more?”

David nodded and grabbed them napkins on their way to a table in the corner.

Patrick grabbed one of the two chocolate peanut butter cupcakes he’d selected. He considered getting two flavors, but didn’t want to risk not liking one of them or being disappointed if the first ended up better than the second. As in most things, David had a different perspective. He had selected four different flavors and stared meaningfully at them before selecting a white one with coconut shreds on top.

“I love coconut.” David’s tongue darted out and carved a path through the frosting.

Patrick’s cupcake sat forgotten on the table. “Coconut is pretty good.” He cleared his throat and pulled his attention from David’s mouth to his eyes.

“Want to try it? It’s delicious.” David shimmied his shoulders as he held it out. Patrick got the feeling David didn’t offer to share food very often, and he shouldn’t turn down such an honor.

“I’d love to try it. Thank you.” Instead of taking the cupcake from David’s hand, he leaned across the table and took a bite as he held David’s eye contact. It’s not like there was a better place to look. “Mm. That is good. Thanks. Want a bite of mine? Chocolate peanut butter.”

David blinked. And blinked again. “Um. Yeah. Sure. I like peanut butter. And chocolate. I definitely like chocolate.”

Patrick bit back a grin as he held the cupcake out to David. He’d thought about David naked in a thousand ways doing a thousand things with Patrick, to Patrick, receiving from Patrick, but never had he thought about what David would look like opening his mouth wide to take a bite from a cupcake taller than Patrick’s palm was wide. It was obscene and hot.

“Mm. I like.” David licked his lips, and Patrick nearly fainted.

Somehow Patrick’s motor skills worked well enough for him to take a bite. “These cupcakes are better than I remember.”

David’s smile turned teasing. “Cupcakes are better in good company.”

“That must be it.” That was definitely it.

“Speaking of company.” David looked down at the napkin in his left hand. “How are you feeling about… everything.” He looked up with the softest expression. “About coming out.”

He’d kinda forgotten that was going to happen in a couple of hours, if not sooner depending on who they ran into around town, because he’d been so caught up in having fun with David. “Nervous.”

One side of David’s mouth turned up. “I think that’s an understandable feeling.”

He took another bite of his cupcake and Patrick could tell by his expression that he was working up to saying something. So Patrick waited.

“You know this whole process is on your terms, right? This is very personal and you should have complete control of it.” His lips were in a serious, firm line.

“I know. I think it would be weird if I wasn’t nervous.” If he wasn’t nervous, then why would he have fled town to begin with?

“It’s just, if you want me to be your business partner instead of your fake boyfriend, I could do that.”

Patrick held back a wince at _fake_. “Why would I change my mind?” He knew David had a reason for offering, but sometimes he couldn’t follow the leaps David’s brain made. It was one of the things that fascinated him most, even when it infuriated him.

“I was thinking it might be a lot to be out and around your parents. Having me there might be making it all so much more real. Intense?” David gave his head a shake. “Just throwing it out there. You control the narrative here, okay?”

Patrick nodded as he took a moment to consider David’s words. He appreciated David checking in with him, but it wasn’t intense. Not in the way David assumed, anyway. It was intense in that he felt like his feelings for David had gone from a simmer to a boil with the extended proximity. And seeing David around his parents? Jesus. “David, it’s so much easier than I expected. Because of you.” David’s shoulder’s relaxed, but a thought occurred to Patrick. “Are you still comfortable with this? This isn’t just about me. Being around my family and having to pretend all weekend that you chose me can’t be easy.” He offered a teasing grin, and his heart swelled at David’s shocked expression.

“No, God no. I’m fine.” He waved a hand and laughed to himself. “This fake relationship has already been better than any real one I’ve had.” He squeezed his eyes closed and looked at the ceiling. “And that’s something I just said. To you.” He blew out a breath. “It’s that, your parents are so nice and you’re so nice and this town has a cupcake bakery, Patrick.” David’s eyes sparkled as his left dimple appeared. “This is far from a hardship.”

Goddamn. Why couldn’t David be his real boyfriend? As the weekend went on, he found it difficult to come up with a good reason why he couldn’t. He needed to talk to David about that. Maybe Sunday. “I knew the cupcakes would ease the burden.”

“These are trying times, but cupcakes are definitely helping.” David grinned as he chewed another bite.

“Think we could find someone to open a cupcake bakery in Schitt’s Creek?” Patrick picked the peanut butter cup off the top of his cupcake and popped it in his mouth.

“I wonder if Ivan makes cupcakes. We could do a monthly cupcake pop-up thing in the store. It would be nice if Schitt’s Creek had more businesses like you have here.”

Patrick didn’t correct him. _He_ didn’t have anything there because that wasn’t his town any longer. Schitt’s Creek was his town. “You could run for town council on a platform of economic development.” Patrick kept his tone even and encouraging.

David didn’t deign to respond, but his glare had Patrick squirming.

Once David finished his cupcake and dabbed his mouth with a napkin, he folded his trash together. “Will you show me where you played the baseball?”

The baseball. He beamed. “I’d love to show you where I played the baseball, David.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Do you still have your baseball uniform?” David tried not to give away too much enthusiasm in the question, but after watching Patrick enthusiastically relive his baseball glory days on the field (not stadium, it turned out), he _really_ wanted to see Patrick in the uniform. Maybe a little dirt on his ass. Patrick’s ass would look so damn good in baseball pants. Hopefully Marcy would come through with the photo tour.

“Unfortunately, not the full uniform. I borrowed it from the school, but I still have my jersey somewhere.”

David needed to rummage through Patrick’s room and find it and get Patrick to wear it someday. Uniform day at the store, maybe?

“Are you ready to start meeting people?” Patrick held open a door to the high school gym.

“Are you kidding? This is going to be a piece of cake. No social situations faze me after I lived through my mom hopped up on benzos and booze at a daytime Emmy after party. I had to talk her off a stage where she wailed about losing to her nemesis. It was possibly the most awkward moment of my life, so, I can’t imagine this will be any worse.”

“You haven’t met my cousins yet.” Patrick winked. He was so fucking adorable.

“Do your cousins sing an off-key version of _O Danny Boy_ over the the acceptance speech of the person who beat them out for a daytime Emmy?”

Patrick’s steps faltered. “She didn’t.”

“Oh, sweet Patrick, she did.” That hadn’t even been the worst thing his mother did that day, or in his life. He’d pulled her from nearly as many awkward situations as he’d saved Alexis from international crises.

“Patty! You made it!”

David turned toward the voice and tried to contain his glee at the use of Patrick’s childhood nickname. He couldn’t wait to ask _Patty_ to sweep the floors or clean the toilet at the store.

They hadn’t made it beyond a long hallway lined with lockers before they were approached by several smiling people. David stayed back a few feet while Patrick greeted the happy group with hugs and back pats.

“I’m so glad you came back. We didn’t think we’d see you this year.” The woman’s voice was almost strained and a little judgey. David’s stomach twisted at the thought of being in Patrick’s life then watching him up and vanish. He couldn’t imagine how hard it was for his friends and family to watch him go. He didn’t want to imagine how crushing it would be if Patrick fled Schitt’s Creek. Even the idea of it had his stomach twisting. David was grateful Patrick had moved to Schitt’s Creek, but until now, the impact of it had been an abstract idea David hadn’t had to face.

“I couldn’t miss Kevin’s bachelor party. Plus, I wanted my boyfriend, David, to see where I grew up and meet the family.”

Okay. So they were jumping right in then. David smiled fondly at the onslaught of eyeballs gawking in his direction. “Hi, I’m David.” He held out his hand to everyone in the small group as Patrick introduced them.

“We all went to school together.” Patrick looked up at David and offered him a smile. A slightly stressed one, but he seemed alright.

David offered a reassuring one of his own as he placed his open hand between Patrick’s shoulders. “If any of you have incriminating photos of Patrick, I would very much like to see those. I can assure you that you’ll find no better audience for such blackmail.”

They all laughed and seemed appropriately charmed. He knew how to play it up. You didn’t grow up as a Rose without the ability to charm people when necessary. He felt tension in Patrick’s shoulders release. Reluctantly, David dropped his hand so he would keep his PDA to a minimum. Enough to sell it without making Patrick feel uncomfortable.

“Have you seen Rachel yet?”

Bryce? Bryan? Shit, David already forgot his name, glanced at David nervously.

“Rachel? She’s here?”

Like an row of bobbleheads, everyone nodded.

“Some people don’t like to skip Halloween here, Patty.” Bryson? knocked Patrick’s shoulder.

“Hey, I only missed one year. There was a lot going on last year.” Patrick laughed, but David knew the stressed sound. David offered comfort in the only way he could in that moment. He grabbed Patrick’s hand and received a grateful squeeze in return.

“Well, I think you promised me food trucks, Patrick. Shall we? Do you all want to join us?” He hoped they’d excuse themselves so Patrick could have a few moments to collect himself. Rachel was there? That threw a cruise ship-sized wrench into things.

“We’ll head that way in a bit. I want to see if they still have our baseball photo up on the hall of fame.” Braxton? led the group down the hallway.

“You okay?”

Patrick turned toward him. He didn’t drop David’s hand. “Yeah. Yup. I’m okay.”

David let his thumb trace a path on the back of Patrick’s hand.

“I wasn’t expecting Rachel to be here.”

“Should we go? You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to. Especially not in public.”

Patrick looked into David’s eyes and inhaled deeply. “No, I’m ready. I want to do this. She deserves the truth, and I’m tired of living with this weight on my shoulders.” Patrick was such a good man.

“Let’s go get food. It’s not advisable to come out to your ex on an empty stomach.”

“Okay, David.” Patrick smiled fondly at him. He led them down a hall with their hands still connected. Of all the things he didn’t expect, the natural rightness of holding Patrick’s hand was among them. How would he go back to not holding Patrick’s hand after the weekend? Seeing them replenishing stock and applying labels and flipping through printouts of numbers. Those hands deserved to be held, treasured, appreciated.

They stood in line at a poutine truck. “I’m thinking the tikka masala poutine.”

“I’ll definitely be taking a bite of that.”

David scoffed. “Um, excuse you, I don’t share food.”

Patrick flashed a smug smirk. “Tell that to your coconut cupcake.”

Okay, that’s fair. David _usually_ didn’t share food except for with unassumingly sexy business men with razor sharp wit.

Patrick pulled his phone from his pocket. “Mom and Dad are here. They brought us chairs.”

“That’s nice of them.” David couldn’t imagine his family looking out for each other like that. Then again, they’d been getting a bit more considerate of each other since they were forcibly relocated to Schitt’s Creek.

The poutine line moved surprisingly fast. He took a bite. “Mm this is soooo good.” He wiggled as he chewed. Patrick darted a fork in the direction of David’s cardboard boat. “Nope. Too slow. I thought you’re the sporty one in this relationship.” David laughed as he held the food away from Patrick, but the laughter died on his lips as Patrick’s eyes flashed when David said _relationship_. “I’ll trade you a bite. It would be rude of me to have a poutine dinner without a bite of the classic.”

“So very rude and very unCanadian. Here.” He jabbed his fork through a cheese curd and two fries, then swirled it through the gravy. David watched as Patrick pushed the fork toward his mouth. “You look like you have a clean mouth so you can take a bite off my fork.”

A clean mouth? Maybe. A clean mind? Definitely not. “That’s delicious. The gravy is killer.”

“My turn.” Patrick tried to jab his fork into David’s poutine again, but David’s reflexes won out.

“I said I’d trade but I didn’t say when. You get the last bite. You have a sloppy mouth.”

Patrick tipped his head back and laughed. David wanted to trace the column of his neck with his tongue. He grinned widely and looked at David with those soft eyes. “You keep me on my toes.”

David grinned at him and tucked that comment away to swoon over later.

“Patty?” A feminine voice said hesitantly.

Like watching a car crash in slow motion, David witnessed the laughter drain from Patrick’s face and his entire body tense up. No, Patrick no. His reflexive response nearly made David cry.

“Rachel?”

David swallowed hard and turned toward the voice.

“Patty, I didn’t know you were coming.” Her eyes darted to David and she frowned. She’d definitely seen them flirting and looked confused as hell by it. “You didn’t reply to my messages.”

Ouch.

“Hey, why don’t you two go talk. I’ll take this and go find your parents.” He pulled the food from Patrick’s hands.

“Trying to get the rest of my poutine. I see how it is.” Patrick’s body was still tense, but he was teasing David. A good sign. Definitely a good sign.

“I promised to save you a bite. I keep my promises.” He smiled at Patrick and nodded at Rachel before turning toward the masses heading into the gym.

He’d be there in any way Patrick needed him, but Rachel didn’t need an audience for that conversation. David had no idea what it was like to be in a real relationship with Patrick, but he knew losing Patrick even as a friend would devastate him. He couldn’t imagine the pain Rachel must have felt after losing her partner of more than a decade. No matter the reason behind it, Patrick was a big presence and he was sure the absence of it would hurt.

She was even cuter in person than she’d been on Patrick’s social media posts. The complete opposite of David. He was tall and dark and moody and abstract. Rachel was petite and sweet and wholesome. Eventually, Patrick would probably end up finding a male version of Rachel. Some nice guy who loved baseball and visiting breweries and waking up early for hikes and knew how to cook. The poutine turned to cement in his stomach.

“David! Over here!”

David spotted Marcy waving at him, and he relaxed. Patrick’s parents really were wonderful. “Thanks for bringing us chairs.”

“Of course, dear.” She squeezed his shoulder. “Where’s Patty?”

David sat the food on one of the two empty chairs and sat in the other, next to Marcy. “He, um, is talking to Rachel.”

“Oh.

“Oh!”

The Brewers glanced at each other. “She’s here?”

David nodded. “Mmhmm.”

“Is he…?” Marcy started.

David nodded again. “Yeah, I think he’s going to tell her.”

The Brewers let out a collective breath. “Good,” Marcy said. “That’s good. So proud of him.”

“Me too,” David managed in a soft voice.

Marcy’s warm smile warmed him like a cashmere blanket.

David ate his way through his dinner as the event’s emcee talked about the weekend’s Halloween festival activities. He tried to minimize the number of times he glanced at the doors to the gym full of people to look for Patrick, but he wasn’t doing a good job because Marcy caught his eye about half the times he did it.

Saving a decent bite for Patrick, he sat that tray down and picked up Patrick’s. It was rude to let poutine go cold and David wasn’t rude. To poutine, anyway. He left a couple bites of that for Patrick too.

The projector lit up the far wall, and David tried to focus.

“You know, I’ve never seen Patrick happier than this past year,” Marcy whispered.

David snapped his head in her direction.

“Even though we hadn’t seen him, I could hear it in his voice. Not just the store, but the way he talked about you and what you built together. You make my boy very happy.”

David blinked back the tears threatening to form and he was grateful for the dim lighting in the spacious gym. “That’s kind of you to say.” He cleared his throat. Their relationship may be fake, but David’s feelings were real. Very, very real. “I’ve, um, never been happier either. Your son makes me very happy.” It was the truth. As a friend and a business partner, Patrick was the brightest spot in David’s existence. He’d love for Patrick to have a more significant role in his life, but he would be happy staying where they were forever if it meant he still got part of Patrick.

Marcy patted his knee. “You two are good together.”

He tried to squish the guilt clawing at his stomach. Lying to Patrick’s parents and extended family and friends hadn’t seemed like a big deal when they were abstract, faceless entities, but now? Now that he’d made pancakes with Marcy and made coffee in a brand new French press purchased by a family of tea drinkers for his comfort with frou-frou coffee fixings? Lying hurt. But if the lie helped Patrick, he’d deal with the hurt.

They had to be at least twenty minutes into the movie and Patrick still hadn’t returned. David did his best to avoid spiraling, but he was still David Rose and anxiety was still a brain chemistry thing he couldn’t control, no matter how badly he wanted to. With every passing minute, his brain became more convinced that Rachel and Patrick were reconciling. Rachel on her phone apartment hunting in Toronto for them while Patrick was googling lawyers to help him get out of a business partnership contract. His brain needed to chill the fuck out.

David focused on the movie and tried to let a ditsy Sarah Jessica Parker capture his attention.

“Thanks for saving me a bite, David.” Patrick picked up the two nearly empty containers and sat down.

David let out a breath. “I promised you a bite and leaving poutine to get cold and congeal is incorrect. I was merely treating the poutine with the respect it deserves.” He bit the corner of his mouth and took in Patrick’s fond smile.

It was hard to tell in the dim lighting, but Patrick’s eyes looked red and a bit swollen. David was glad he’d decided to sit next to Marcy earlier instead of leaving the empty seat between them for Patrick. A bit of privacy in a crowd of people.

“Are you okay?”

Patrick chewed the last of the tikka masala poutine, then looked over at David. “Yeah. Better than expected.”

David kept his eyes on the movie so Patrick could collect himself.

“She was hurt I didn’t tell her, but, uh, relieved I think? To have a reason why it didn’t work that wasn’t about her.”

David placed a hand on Patrick’s thigh—in the reassurance zone not the flirting zone—and squeezed gently. “I’m glad. Proud of you, Patrick.” He wasn’t sure if him being proud of anyone carried weight, but he felt the pride and wanted to express it.

Patrick picked up David’s hand and interlaced their fingers. “Thank you. For being here. For supporting me.” The whispered words worked their way through the fissures in David’s armor.

As the movie played, David absently realized that they’re in a fairly dark place and didn’t need to use PDA to convince anyone of their relationship. But, nevertheless, Patrick held his hand through the whole thing.


	10. Chapter 10

“I’m sure I’ll be fine, Patrick. How scary can a small town haunted house be?” David rolled his eyes as he followed Patrick to his car.

“I didn’t realize the size of the town indicated scariness of the haunted house. Do haunted houses in New York cause cardiac arrest?” David had no idea what he was in for.

David glared at him over the top of the car. “There are some where you have to sign waivers saying it’s okay for the actors to touch you and detain you.”

Patrick grimaced. “Yeah. That’s a pass.” He climbed into the driver’s seat. “Have you been to many haunted houses?”

David shook his head. “I’ve seen them on TV though. Is there going to be a bowl full of cut up grapes as eyeballs or something? If I get spaghetti sauce on my sweater I’m going to be pissed.”

“I don’t think there will be spaghetti sauce, David.” Patrick smiled the entire way to the community center turned annual haunted house.

“Are you sure you’re okay after- after talking to Rachel?” Patrick caught David watching him.

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, thanks for asking. I think it was good I saw her at the start of the weekend. Getting that conversation out of the way relieved some of the pressure.”

David patted Patrick’s leg. He resisted the urge to cover his hand to keep it there, but they were alone and he had no reason to push for the touch, but he wanted it. Craved it. “I’m glad.”

Once parked, they followed a crowd of people to rope stanchions. “It looks like we weren’t the only one with this idea.”

“The townies must love their bowls of grapes. This place is bigger than I expected.”

Patrick grinned. “Don’t worry, David. I’m here to protect you from all the scary foodstuffs in that big building.”

David snorted. “I don’t need you to protect me.”

“Patty!” He turned toward the voice and saw his high school friends. “Join us!”

“This okay?” He turned to David and asked.

David nodded and offered a small smile. “Of course.” He held out his hand and Patrick gladly took it.

Once they reached the group in line, Patrick spotted Rachel. Shit. He wasn’t expecting to see her, but he supposed it was good he’d seen her earlier because a first meeting at the haunted house line would have been super damn awkward.

“Hi, David, right? Sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier.” Rachel held out her hand.

David froze for a moment, but his features slid into the faux politeness he’d clearly perfected at a young age. “Hi, Rachel. It’s great to meet you. Patrick has told me so many wonderful stories.”

Patrick hadn’t done anything like that, but he appreciated David’s effort. And maybe he should have told David some nice stories. He’d equated Rachel with fear and guilt and stress so much that he’d almost forgotten all of their good times over the years. She didn’t deserve to be reduced to that.

“How you managed to put up with him for so long is beyond me. He’s so pissy when he’s hungry.” David smirked at him. Goddamn he was good.

“ _I’m_ pissy? You’re general of the hangry army.”

Rachel grinned at them. “He’s the worst if he doesn’t get his morning tea.”

“You’re telling me. There was one morning when the cafe didn’t have any and—“

“While I’m really enjoying this _imbalanced social dynamic_ ,” he smirked at David and warmed at the spark of recognition on his face, remembering the first time he met Stevie. “I think we can cool it on swapping stories about how awful I am.” Patrick knocked his hip into David’s. He was so grateful to David for immediately eliminating any possible tension. It’s like he knew to tease. Knew that Rachel would be as open to it as Patrick was. Probably not a surprise given it was basically Patrick’s love language.

Bryce winked at Patrick. Yeah. He knew how lucky he was. Or would be if he and David were actually a couple. Maybe they could be. Would be. David was several leagues above Patrick, but no one had batted an eye so far at the idea of them as boyfriends.

“Um, Patrick, are we about to walk through a clown’s mouth?”

Patrick followed David’s line of sight. “Huh. Looks like it. They go with a different theme each year.”

David shifted a bit closer to Patrick as the line moved. “Did I, uh, ever tell you about the clown I dated?”

A laugh nearly escaped at the thought of David dating a clown. “No. Judging by the look on your face, I take it it didn’t end well?”

He turned toward Patrick with wide eyes. “He left one day and never came back. None of my friends heard from again. He completely disappeared from social media.”

Patrick shrugged. “Maybe he joined the haunted house circuit. Think he’s here?”

David swatted his arm. “You’re a menace.”

When they reached the ticket booth, Patrick paid for them both. Then followed the crowd through the giant clown mouth into a room of mirrors, where they met a woman in a dirty wedding dress and scary clown makeup led them through.

“Ew. I do _not_ like seeing myself from this many angles at once.”

Patrick chuckled at the half a dozen angles of David’s grimace. “You look great from every angle, David.” He bit his lip at the honest words.

David shot him a quick look, and Patrick swooned a little at the small smile tucked in the corner of David’s mouth. “Oh. Well. Thank you.”

Seizing the opportunity, he placed his hand at the small of David’s back and followed David, who followed Rachel behind the creepy woman.

“This is a lot of screaming. And circus music.”

“I think auditory horror is part of the experience.”

“Then they’ve succeeded. I’m terrified.” David shot him a look.

They stepped over a ledge and into a ball pit. Rachel nearly lost her footing and David shot a hand out to steady her. She smiled up at him, tugging at Patrick’s heart.

They turned a corner in the ball pit and Raggedy Annie’s evil twin sat there laughing maniacally. Another person stationed around a corner tossed balls at them. David batted them away with surprisingly good reflexes. “Definitely going to need hand sanitizer after this.”

“Definitely going to talk to you about joining the baseball team with those reflexes.” He laughed at David’s grimace. “And I have hand sanitizer in my car,” Patrick leaned forward to say into David’s ear.

“I’ve never heard such a sexy sentence before,” David whispered back.

The ball pit led to an almost pitch black hallway. Enough light to see the figures around them. “This isn’t so bad,” David said.

An arm poked through the wall between them. “Ahh!!” David screamed and jumped back to clutch Patrick. Patrick couldn’t help but laugh. Whether it was from the fright or David’s reaction, he couldn’t be sure.

They turned another corner and Patrick tried to focus on the path ahead of them as lights flashed as though the entire room was one gigantic strobe. The screams and flashing lights were doing Patrick’s senses in, but David’s grip on his arm helped keep him grounded.

After passing a few actors in creepy ass clown make-up who screamed at them or came close to grabbing them, David seemed to settle a bit. At least until someone jumped up from a chair. David shrieked and wrapped his body around Patrick’s.

“It’s okay,” Patrick said through laughter as he rubbed David’s back. “Here, get behind me. I’ll protect you from the underpaid actors.”

“Rude,” David said, but his voice was breathy with fear. He shifted behind Patrick and walked close enough to keep his arms wrapped around Patrick’s waist and head nearly pressed against his shoulders.

They entered a dimly lit space with a bunch of figures in clown outfits. From what Patrick could tell in the low lighting, they were all mannequins, but he supposed that was the trick. One wouldn’t be, and the anticipation was half the fun. He spotted one ahead that definitely looked more human than mannequin. He prepared himself for that figure to jump or move or something.

Seconds later, a figure to his right jumped out and Patrick shouted. Damn, that was a good fake-out. David clung tighter to Patrick and his quick breaths tickled the back of Patrick’s neck. He already wanted to go through the haunted house again if it meant David would keep hanging on to him like that. In the next room, they had to maneuver around fake circus animal skeletons.

“This is creepy,” David said into Patrick’s shoulder.

As they worked through more of the haunted house, David didn’t leave Patrick’s back. The small part of Patrick’s brain that wasn’t actively battling fight or flight instincts idly wished he had the feeling of David at his back while they were horizontal. He liked that David was bigger than him. Liked it a lot.

They were led back into a room of mirrors, which was a bit of a weak ending. There had to be something else to it. The path narrowed and Patrick paused so Rachel could turn the tight corner. Once he took the corner, with David immediately behind, they faced themselves in a mirror. Patrick smiled at the reflection of David’s face over his shoulder, but that faded and the creepiest damn clown he’d ever seen materialized next to them. Both he and David screamed.

“Jesus!”

“Oh my god! Go! Go!” David pushed Patrick forward until they were spilling out of the exit laughing.

“You survived the clowns.” Patrick grabbed David’s hand and pulled him in for a quick kiss. He smiled against David’s lips and felt David him doing the same. Patrick pulled back, and his breath hitched at David’s wide, beaming smile. A rare display from David. He didn’t really need to kiss David because he had nothing to prove to Rachel, but David was there and he’d gotten wrapped up in David touching him throughout the whole haunted house. They’d mutually agreed kissing was fine anyway, so it was okay, right? Patrick’s second kiss with a man. He immediately wanted his third, fourth, fifth, hundredth.

“I did. No clown exes in sight either.” David rubbed his free hand up and down Patrick’s arm. They moved to the side as they waited for the rest of their group.

“This was a good year!” Rachel said as she watched the exit.

“No spaghetti sauce or grapes,” he teased David. “Have fun?”

David squeezed Patrick’s hand. “Way more fun than I expected. I underestimated your town’s ability to frighten me in ways that have nothing to do with the lack of fashion or sufficient dining options.”

Patrick’s friends exited and they chatted for a moment as the adrenaline waned.

“Look! There’s a sign for photos.” Rachel pointed.

“Photos?” David looked hesitant.

That was new. Patrick shrugged at David, but they followed the signs to the building’s concession stand-turned-entertainment center. Several TVs were mounted on the wall with photos of people screaming at the terrifying clown at those last mirrors.

“Hi, folks. It looks like this one is you two.” A guy who looked no older than seventeen pointed to a monitor where David looked positively terrified as he clutched Patrick’s shoulders. At least Patrick didn’t look as scared as David.

“How much?” Patrick had to have that photo.

“Ten for a printout. Thirty for two printouts and a digital copy.”

Patrick pulled out his wallet and retrieved thirty bucks and passed it to the kid.

“Type your email or phone number here and it’ll send it to you.”

Patrick tapped his number on the iPad and felt his phone buzz a moment later. They moved to the side and waited for the printed photos as the rest of Patrick’s friends looked at theirs. He idly noticed how weird it was to see Rachel by herself in one with him and David in another.

“I can’t believe you bought these.” David pulled his lips between his teeth, which did wonders for his dimples.

“Are you kidding? That photo is getting framed next to our business license.”

David’s eyes went wide. “Absolutely not!”

“I’m thinking a hot pink frame with lime green polka dots.”

“You’re a terrible person.”

“Plaid? Like one of Stevie’s shirts.”

“I hate you.”

“Unpainted and unstained pine?”

“I’m selling my half of the business. I can’t be around you any longer.” The side of David’s mouth twitched as he stood with his arms crossed.

“Here you go, guys.” The kid handed Patrick the printouts.

“Hey, how’d the festival get the money to do this? It’s a bit fancier than usual.”

The kid shrugged. “I think they got a grant or something.”

David snorted. “Of course they got a grant.”

“It’s a brilliant strategy, David.”

“Is there a school for writing grants in this town?”

He caught Rachel looking between them with an eyebrow raised.

Patrick turned to his friends. “Well, that was fun. See you at the pumpkin promenade tomorrow?” Patrick wanted to get back to the house where he could hang out with David. Alone. Outside of the store. At night.

His friends nodded and waved them off. Rachel smiled softly at him and he returned it. Maybe things would be okay with her after all.


	11. Chapter 11

“Your phone’s blowing up.”

David looked over at Patrick and watched as he pulled some clothes out of his duffle bag. Of course Patrick was the kind of guy who sat the next day’s clothes out before bed. “Thanks.” David walked over to the bed and picked the phone up from where he’d dropped it before changing into his pajamas.

Several texts from Stevie and Alexis greeted him with egregious emoji use.

Did Patrick protect you from the creepy clown? Or did you dump Patrick for the clown? Or is this a throuple situation? [eggplant emoji] [peach emoji] [hand in okay symbol emoji] [finger pointing emoji]  
  


OMG! You’re like so scared. It would be cute if it wasn’t so embarrassing. Looks like you two are having fun. [pink heart emoji] [pink heart emoji] [pink heart emoji] [pink heart emoji]  
  


“Um, did you send Stevie and Alexis the photo of us?”

Patrick glanced at David with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Obviously.”

“You are the absolute worst! Why would you give them blackmail material? What did I ever do to you? Do you have some sort of multi-generational vendetta against me or something?”

Patrick’s grin turned fond, but maintained it’s teasing edge. “I promised them proof of life. Stevie threatened to murder me if anything happened to you. I believe her specific threat was ‘if David gets murdered in your podunk hometown then I’m going to make it so no one finds your body.’”

“Oh. Well. That’s kind of sweet.” Fuck. He wanted to kiss him. Again. Their kiss after the haunted house had been entirely too quick. He’d been completely surprised by it and, by the time he recognized it was happening, Patrick had pulled away. Not enough time to savor it. David had expected kisses in front of people, but that hadn’t been a show-off kiss. That had been spontaneous and fun and full of adrenaline.

“She wasn’t too pleased when I pointed out that Schitt’s Creek is way more podunk than this place.”

“Fair.” David turned around and smiled to himself. Sure, he was horrified at the thought of Patrick texting his sister and best friend without David being on the chain, but it was also so fucking adorable. Dammit.

“Do you want to watch something? Pick out another VHS?” Patrick jerked his thumb out to the lounge part of the basement. “Or pick something else and watch it on my laptop?”

“Laptop?” David craned his neck to look at the setup in the main area. He wasn’t sure how they’d both be able to see Patrick’s laptop screen unless they snuggled up on the same beanbag, which he definitely wouldn’t be opposed to. And why the hell had Patrick brought a laptop on a weekend trip? Was he planning to work? Or had he planned ahead on the movie thing?

“Yeah. We could sit on the bed or something?”

“Good idea.” David smiled at him.

“Want some hot chocolate and popcorn?”

David’s smile grew in a flash. “Of course. Damn, Brewer hospitality is something to behold.”

“I knew what I was getting into when I asked you to come this weekend.”

Well, technically David had suggested it. But if Patrick remembered it the other way, he wouldn’t correct him. Did that mean he’d been thinking of asking David when David had been in the cafe? When he had the idea of going back with a boyfriend, had he imagined David in that role? A lump settled in his throat.

No way, right? Maybe? Shit. Patrick seemed surprisingly at ease with pretending to be David’s boyfriend. As at ease as David felt pretending to be Patrick’s boyfriend. David knew why he felt so comfortable. Was it really such a stretch to think Patrick felt the same?

“How about you pick the movie and I’ll get us snacks and say goodnight to my parents.”

“Do you have marshmallows?” Patrick leveled a harsh look David’s direction. David couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, okay. I’ll never underestimate you again.”

Patrick typed the password into his computer and passed it to David.

David settled at the head of Patrick’s bed and launched Interflix. What he _wanted_ to do was do a quick yet thorough dive of Patrick’s internet search history. He wouldn’t mind knowing Patrick’s porn preferences, but he wasn’t savvy enough to not get caught.

He considered picking a rom-com, but he sort of wanted to choose something less involved in case Patrick wanted to chat. They’d only been on their trip for nearly two days, but David was already growing addicted to Patrick’s presence outside of the store. Sure, they were friends and hung out sometimes and did vendor runs together, but just spending time together for the sake of it? That wasn’t a common occurrence, but he seriously wanted it to be.

David wasted time on his phone until Patrick returned with two mugs and a bowl of popcorn. He made grabby hands at the sight of Patrick. “Yum! Thank you!”

Patrick chuckled as he passed a mug to David and sat the popcorn on the bed before settling in next to him. “Extra marshmallows and a bit of nutmeg.”

“Oooh, fancy. Thank you.” David shimmied his shoulders gently so he didn’t spill the chocolate goodness. “You’re spoiling me. I don’t know how I’m going to adapt once we’re back in Schitt’s Creek not that I’m used to certain comforts. Alexis would rather cut bangs in her hair than make me hot chocolate.” He turned to smirk at Patrick and found him looking meaningfully at David.

“You deserve to be spoiled, David.” Patrick’s voice was soft and he looked at David for a moment longer before turning his attention to the laptop. “What did you pick?”

David cleared his throat and tried not to dwell on Patrick’s words, but it was probably easier to move a mountain than do that. “Have you seen _Nailed It_? It’s a hilarious baking competition with the most amateur of amateurs.”

“Sounds good.” Patrick held his mug out. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.” David smiled at Patrick over the top of his own mug.

David started the show and alternated between sweet sips of cocoa and handfuls of salty popcorn.

“That’s sugar! He put sugar in instead of flour!” Patrick covered his face with his hand. “What a disaster.”

David grinned. “Even I don’t think I’d make that mistake.”

Patrick glanced at him. “Oh? Think you’d be able to make your own cake castle?”

“Okay, no, but I know the difference between flour and sugar.”

They watched another episode and laughed until their sides hurt.

“I’m glad we got those cupcakes today. The memory of that delicious cake is making this easier to cope with.”

“Mm, yes. Those were delicious.” Had that been today? So much had happened and it felt like cupcakes were days ago. “Did you have a good day?”

Patrick chewed more popcorn. “I did.” He playfully knocked his foot against David’s. “I think your screams were the highlight.”

“I didn’t scream!”

Patrick raised an eyebrow.

“I audibly startled.”

Patrick’s head fell back against the wall as he laughed. David stared at the long line of Patrick’s neck. “You’re ridiculous,” Patrick said with complete fondness. And, oh, the way he sat that was nice.

“It’s part of my charm,” David mumbled. “How are you, um, feeling about—“ David waved a hand.

“Coming out? Rachel?”

David nodded. “Mmhmm. All of that.”

Patrick bent his knees and brought them closer to his body as he draped his arms on top of them. “Better than I expected, I think. I didn’t know how Rachel would take it.”

David remained silent to see what Patrick wanted to get off his chest without David steering the conversation.

“I thought she’d scream or get really angry. I wouldn’t blame her. We were together for so many years.” Patrick shook his head. “I think I’d feel betrayed. If I’d loved someone that much and known I’d never had a chance. That I’d wasted so much time.” He let out a shaky breath. “I wasted so much of her life.”

David couldn’t let Patrick beat himself up like that. He reached out and rested his hand on Patrick’s forearm. “Patrick, I need you to listen to me.” Patrick turned to look at him, and David almost stopped speaking at his wide eyes and open expression. “I understand what you’re saying, but can I offer another perspective?” He waited for Patrick to nod. “Sure, you eventually realized why it didn’t work and that’s great. Fantastic, even. Because you _did_ figure it out. But you’re a good man and I know you treated her well. I’m sure a lot of other guys in their twenties don’t treat their partners well. I was one of them. You showed her what it’s like to be in a healthy relationship between two people who care for and respect each other. That kind of experience is going to set her up to find someone who treats her as she should be treated, and who loves her like she should be loved.”

Squeezing Patrick’s forearm and rubbing his thumb idly because he could, David continued. “And the same for you. You’ve had a healthy relationship and that’s going to help you as you, um, find a partner. A man.” God, it hurt to imagine Patrick with anyone else. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I wish I had that kind of experience. I think I’d trade all the sex and wild experiences of my twenties for a healthy relationship, even if it didn’t work out in the end. I wish I knew how to do relationships like you do.” As the words left his mouth, he knew how true they were. It wasn’t him trying to make Patrick feel better, but it was the honest to God truth. He envied Patrick’s steadiness and ability to commit and settle. David had never felt like he could dare to want something like that. Steadiness hadn’t exactly been a trait of his life as a Rose.

Patrick rested his free hand on top of David’s. “Thank you,” he said in a rough voice. “I hadn’t considered that, but it makes me feel better. You’re right. I’m not the kind of person who wants to get on Grindr and have a series of hook-ups.”

Thank. God. Not that he’d begrudge Patrick whatever experiences he wanted, but maybe they were looking for similar things.

“And that’s probably what would have happened if I’d figured myself out earlier. I’d much rather come home to the same person every day.” He looked up and smiled softly at David and whoa. David wanted to crawl in Patrick’s lap and tuck his face at the crook of Patrick’s neck. Have him tell David all about what he wants in a relationship so David could tell him that he’d be that person for Patrick. That he wanted nothing more.

“Me too.” David spoke barely above a whisper. A shriek boomed from the laptop speakers making them both jump. Moment: gone.

Patrick cleared his throat. “Rachel was upset, but mostly understanding and empathetic. I really shouldn’t have expected anything else because that’s who she is. She was understandably mad I didn’t tell her once I’d figured it out, but overall she’s happy for me.”

“She sounds like a good person and a good friend. Do you think you’ll be able to pull a David and Stevie and stay friends?”

Patrick chuckled. “I hope so. I think so.”

“And are you feeling okay about coming out to your high school friends?”

Patrick ran a hand through his short hair and David missed the contact of that hand on his. He’d love to see Patrick’s longer like some of the high school photos he’d seen around the Brewer house. “Definitely. They were great about it. I hope my family is as cool about it tomorrow.”

“I’m sure they will be. People love you, Patrick. They want to see you happy.”

Patrick dropped his head back against the wall. “I’m happy. So happy.” He turned to look at David. “Since moving to Schitt’s Creek, opening the store, meeting you—“

David’s breath hitched.

“—I feel like myself for the first time. My smiles are real. My happiness is genuine. That wasn’t always the case here because I felt pressure to be happy and knew how I should act. In Schitt’s Creek, the happiness comes as easy as breathing.”  
That’s how David felt too. Especially after meeting Patrick and starting the store. He’d never been so happy, and he’d even begun to stop worrying as often about when the other shoe would drop. “Patrick, I’m really happy you’re happy.” He pulled his hand back from Patrick and shifted to rest his head against the wall and looked straight ahead because eye contact and sincerity were a dangerous combination. “I know what you mean. My life finally feels like what it should be. Schitt’s Creek, the store, my family, Stevie, you- I- I’m happy. Really happy.”


	12. Chapter 12

Patrick can’t remember the last time he woke up so warm and comfy. He hadn’t felt that cozy since before he’d accidentally donated his fleece comforter from college. He missed that thing. With eyes still closed, he snuggled further into the warmth and met… skin? Right, David. David Rose, a living, breathing, fleece blanket.

Cracking one eye open, he smiled at a sea of black hair and the edge of a face buried into a pillow. He thought yesterday’s wake-up experience was the best he’d had with light touches with David. Pinkies hooked and legs entangled. The minutes they’d spent awake with Patrick’s head against David’s chest had been some of the best in his life. Both accepting the moment and leaning into it before they let the rest of the world in.

Even with the distance between their bodies yesterday, he’d never felt more comfortable in a bed. Until this morning. There was much less space between them now. David on his stomach, but face turned toward Patrick’s chest, Patrick’s arm stretched over David’s back, and their hips lined up. No way around it, they were cuddling. And Patrick loved it. He wanted to wake up with David like that every day. Especially after their conversation last night. It had taken him forever to fall asleep because his mind wouldn’t turn off. David’s words about wanting a steady relationship played like a loop in his mind. He would have never expected that kind of admission from David, but if he had learned one thing in his time in Schitt’s Creek, it was that David Rose consistently surprised him.

He needed to figure out a way to tell David how he felt, but he knew he had one shot and he couldn’t mess it up. He could wake David up and admit his feelings. Or carve “be my real boyfriend?” in a pumpkin. Maybe kiss him at the bachelor party and whisper in his ear that he’s not pretending. But if David didn’t feel the same, it would make for one hell of an awkward trip home and Patrick wasn’t sure he was willing to take that risk. Then again, David deserved Patrick taking all the risks because it was starting to feel like David might feel the same.

Dammit. His body needed him to get out of the bed. He shouldn’t have had so much water before falling sleep. Patrick wasn’t ready to break the contact of their bodies, but the chance that David would feel uncomfortable was too great so it was probably for the best.

He rubbed his thumb lightly on David’s lower back and he smiled at the soft hum David let out into the pillow. Slowly and carefully, Patrick pulled his arm back and rolled to his left side. David grumbled a bit, the cutest sounds of all time, but didn’t wake. Patrick stood from the bed and looked down at his sleeping business partner and, hopefully, future real boyfriend.


	13. Chapter 13

David raised an eyebrow at the apron Patrick held out for him.

“If you don’t want to get your undershirt dirty, you’re going to need this. Or I can dig out one of my old t-shirts.” Patrick smirked.

As tempting as it was to wear an old shirt of Patrick’s, he wasn’t interested in wearing a too-tight, cheap cotton shirt so he’d accept the frilly apron.

“I bought this for my mom with money I earned mowing lawns as a kid.”

Aww. That’s stinking cute. “I’ll do my best not to ruin it with pumpkin guts.”

Patrick laughed. “Don’t worry, it’s washable. I thought I’d ruined it in high school when I made spaghetti for Rachel during a date. I got sauce over the whole thing, but my mom got the stains out somehow.”

David couldn’t help but smile at the ease with which Patrick told the story. Before yesterday, Patrick carefully walked around stories with Rachel. She’d come up a few times, but the way Patrick spoke of his pre-Schitt’s Creek life had been obviously edited to minimize mentions of Rachel or avoid her altogether. David didn’t want edited stories. He wanted to know all about Patrick’s childhood and past and hear the silly stories of Rachel and Patrick.

“I watched a couple of carving videos on YouTube while you were in the shower this morning, but I think I’m still going to need your guidance.” Too bad it wasn’t a pool table type situation where Patrick could line up behind David and guide his body into making shots. The carving knives were barely large enough for David’s hand, let alone Patrick’s too.

“I’m here for all of your pumpkin carving mentorship needs.”

“So generous.” David knocked his shoulder into Patrick’s before picking up a newspaper and unfolding it to cover the dining table.

“Have you boys settled on your designs?” Marcy walked in and filled the tea kettle.

“I have.” David planned to mirror the design on the t-shirt he was going to wear later. An open mouth with vampire fangs.

“I’m _oscillating_ between a couple of ideas.” Patrick smirked at David, and it was pretty hot.

“Rude,” David mumbled, but couldn’t hide his grin.

“Coffee and tea?”

“Yes, please,” David and Patrick said in unison. They shared a smile.

David walked over to the kitchen counter and selected a pumpkin. “Since you’re still _oscillating_ , I’m taking this one. It fits my vision best.” He carried the tall pumpkin back to the table and sat it down across from where Patrick stood.

David caught Marcy smiling at them, eyes twinkling, as she poured boiling water into the French press and the rest into three mugs with tea bags. She winked at David before delivering one mug to Patrick then carrying the other two toward the living room. She’d be an amazing mother-in-law. David froze. Whoa. Where the hell had that come from?

“You okay?” Patrick looked at him with a deep crease between his eyebrows.

“Yup. Possible execution issue with my vision, but I’ll figure it out.”

“I’m sure you will. You always find a way.”

David looped the apron over his head and tied it at his back.

“Lace suits you. You should wear more of it.” Patrick’s tone held a metric fuckton of teasing, but he looked at David with those fond as hell eyes. David had a few lace pieces tucked with his lingerie in the motel love room. He hadn’t had a reason to use it since moving to Schitt’s Creek, but he might need to wear one of the lace thongs to the store next week. It would give him a secret thrill throughout the day. Maybe hike the lace waistband a smidge above his jeans then do some dusting on the top shelf.

Patrick began sawing the top of his pumpkin off. “I like to leave a notch. I’m not sure it actually makes a difference in keeping the top from sinking in, but it’s what I did as a kid.”

“Notch it is. Who am I to argue with the expert?” The carving knife, if that’s what it could even be called, was barely more effective than a butter knife. Somehow he managed to remove the top of the pumpkin. “I did it!” He placed the top back on and it didn’t sink.

“Good job.” Patrick held out his hand for a high five.

“Are we doing high fives now?” David laughed as he slapped his palm against Patrick’s.

“Pumpkin achievements deserve high fives, yes.”

“As long as you don’t try it when our hands are covered with pumpkin guts.”

Patrick made an affronted face. “I would never. Risk pumpkin guts flying into your hair?”

“Okay, I know you’re teasing, but thank you. That’s considerate.” David stared down into the pumpkin filled with stringy chunks and a lot of seeds. “Um, now what?”

Patrick tilted his pumpkin so the opening faced him and shoved a hand in. “Start yanking out whatever you can.” He retrieved his hand and dropped a pile of orange gunk on the stack of newspaper between them. “Eventually you’ll need to use one of the knives to separate the chunks from the rim.”

“Got it.” David tilted the pumpkin opening toward him and grimaced at all the nasty stuff in there.

“It helps if you actually stick your hand in.”

“I’ve heard that before,” he muttered. Patrick’s answering laugh was loud. “Sorry.” David tucked his grin in the corner of his mouth.

“Just think of it as an all natural pumpkin mask for your hands.”

“Mm, okay, I’m not comfortable with how well you know me because that totally works. I love a good pumpkin mask.”

“I know,” Patrick teased.

He tentatively clutched some pumpkin guts. “Eww. This is what I expected to experience at the haunted house. So gross. It’s slimy and firm? How is it both?!”

“At least you get to see what you’re touching. If you want, we could roast the pumpkin seeds. They’re delicious with seasoning on them.”

“The fact that you can so easily bribe me with promise of food is disconcerting, but I’ll allow it,” he said in his haughtiest tone.

“I appreciate your generosity, David.”

They worked in silence until both had cleaned their pumpkins out. “Can I wash my hands now?”

Patrick laughed. “Yes. Your coffee is ready too.”

“Ooh! Coffee! I almost forgot.” David jumped up from his chair and rushed over to the kitchen sink to wash his hands. As Patrick washed his own, David fixed his coffee.

“Ready to carve?”

“I was born ready. Decide on your design?”

Patrick leaned his hip against the counter. “I think I’m going to go with a classic jack o’ lantern face. I’m feeling nostalgic. What are you going to do?”

“Vampire fangs.”

“Like that shirt you wear once in a while?”

David couldn’t help the pleased grin that formed. “Planned on wearing that today, actually. The only festive-adjacent thing I own.”

“You look good in that shirt. You don’t show your arms very often.” Patrick smirked and walked back to the table, leaving David to stare dumbly after him. Patrick had opinions on his clothes and arm visibility? That was…unexpected but certainly not unwanted.


	14. Chapter 14

“What do we do with these?” David held his pumpkin out an awkward distance away from his body, even though he’d wiped the exterior down multiple times and there was no chance he’d get pumpkin goop on his shirt or cardigan.

“We can drop them anywhere along the road up here. Once we drop them off, we can wander around the booths. When it gets darker, volunteers drop candles in each of them and we can walk by and admire the pumpkins. I know it sounds silly but—“

“It sounds perfect,” David said on a sigh. “The Hallmark vibes are strong with this activity, and I am here for it.”

“We’ll have to get apple cider to complete the experience.” Patrick laughed at David’s wide-eyed enthusiasm. His body practically vibrated with excitement.

“Yes. Yeah. Yup. Definitely need apple cider. Mmhmm.”

Patrick led them up a block where the crowd grew more dense. “The pumpkins are up here.”

David ooh’d and aah’d at the pumpkins they passed. “I can’t wait to see these lit up.”

They found a spot along the sidewalk. “Let me take a photo of you with your pumpkin. It does match your shirt after all.”

David rolled his eyes but smiled fondly as he posed for Patrick. After he snapped a few photos with his free hand, his own pumpkin clutched against his side, he watched David approach an older man.

“Excuse me, would you be willing to take a photo of us with our pumpkins?” David gestured to Patrick.

“Of course.” The man accepted Patrick’s phone.

“We can put it on the store Instagram,” David said as he posed.

Patrick’s smile was wide and natural as he stood next to David and held his pumpkin out proudly, excited to see the photo of them immortalized on their social media. David had only posted two photos of them on their Instagram. One of them smiling, arms wrapped around each other, standing under the Rose Apothecary sign as it was installed. The other a candid of them at the register on their opening day. David insisted they maintain their aesthetics in their posts. Patrick thrilled at the prospect that this moment ranked up their with the other two to warrant IG posting.

With thanks, Patrick took back his phone and sat his pumpkin down. David pulled out his phone to take a picture of their pumpkins. Patrick snuck a picture of David taking the picture.

“They look great. We did a good job.”

David turned to Patrick and treated him to a wide smile. “We did. Thanks for showing me how to carve pumpkins. Maybe we could carve our logo into one next year.”

Patrick blinked at him. “Wow. Yeah. That’s a great idea, David.” It wasn’t the time to remind David about his tirade about how tacky orange pumpkins were. He’d spent ten minutes arguing that if they ever allowed pumpkins in the store, it would be white ones only. David wasn’t the best about compromise, but he surprised Patrick once in a while.

“Thank you. I usually have great ideas.” David hooked his arm through Patrick’s. “Where to now?”

“Check out the vendor booths?”

“Ooh, yes!”

Patrick loved the warmth of David’s body against his as they walked. He knew David probably did it in case they came across someone Patrick knew, but he allowed himself to imagine it were real. That he’d have a lifetime of wandering around cutesy small town events with David’s arm wrapped through his.

“Boys! There you are. Look who we found?”

Patrick turned toward his mom’s voice. “Aunt Peggy!” David pulled back his arm and stepped to the side just in time for Aunt Peggy to wrap her arms around Patrick.

“Patty, sweetheart! It’s so good to see you.” She squeezed hard then stepped back to cup his face. “I can’t believe you stayed away this long.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” He glanced at David and nearly rolled his eyes at David’s grin.

“You should be. Running away like that. What have you been doing with yourself in that little town? I feel like I barely know anything about your life this past year, and it’s not for lack of trying.” She leveled the same look at Patrick that she’d used when he’d sneak extra cookies from her as a kid.

“I’m sorry I haven’t called much.”

“At all.”

Leave it to Aunt Peggy to not let him off easy. “At all.” He grimaced. “Mom told you about the store?”

“She did. How’s that going?”

“It’s amazing. Actually, I’d like to introduce you to David Rose, my business partner—“ he looked at David and held out a hand “—and boyfriend.”

“Jesus, Patrick. I’d say you’re punching above your weight class with this one.”

“Aunt Peggy! Come on.” He shook his head and laughed.

“Well, it’s true. He’s gorgeous,” she said behind her hand in a stage whisper. “Hi, David, it’s a pleasure to meet the man who can put up with our sweet Patrick. Has he forced you to go backpacking yet?”

“Oh, God, no. He’d have to go to Paris Fashion Week with me before I’d even consider such a thing. Compromise is so important in a relationship, you know?” David’s exaggerated smirk had Aunt Peggy howling.

He’d join David in Paris Fashion Week without a second of hesitation.

“I’m glad our Patrick found someone to keep him on his toes. He’s insufferable if he doesn’t get teased regularly.”

“I learned that pretty quickly. Don’t worry, I’m keeping him humble.”

Patrick felt like he was floating as he watched David and the favorite person among his extended family chat. He knew David had enough charisma for multiple people, but he rarely got to see it used in that way. He loved seeing David win his family and friends over, but he was so damn glad he got to see the real David every day. Grumpy, hangry, anxious, enthusiastic, obsessive, brilliant, creative, sarcastic David.

“Peggy, do you remember that lotion you tried and loved a few months back? That was from their store. David put together a wonderful basket with some of their products and sent it over to us.”

“Mom, I sent that basket to you.”

She patted him on the shoulder. “Sweetheart, you may have gone to the post office, but I know David put all the products together.” David’s shoulders shook with silent laughter.

“David is brilliant. He managed to find all these different vendors and bring them together. Somehow everything goes together so well. Everything feels so fancy and comfortable. I love it,” his mom gushed.

David had stopped laughing and stared at Marcy with his mouth slightly open. Patrick stepped closer to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek, then wrapped an arm around David’s waist. “She’s right. He’s brilliant.”

Hearing his mom brag about David did something to Patrick. It filled him with a special kind of pride he didn’t know existed. David wrapped an arm around Patrick’s shoulders and rubbed his thumb on Patrick’s upper arm. What would it be like to have this all the time? Casual shoulder rubs while closing up the cash at night. Passing each other in the stock room with hands grabbing hips. Fingers trailing down abdomens when falling asleep together at night.

They stood and talked for a few minutes. Aunt Peggy filled Patrick in on some things going on with his cousins, though he’d already learned of most of it through Facebook, and she asked David questions just a few shy of an interrogation. He knew his aunt well enough to know the questions came of genuine interest than trying to scare David away.

“I think it’s time for some apple cider and donuts. Anyone interested?” Peggy patted her round belly.

“Yes, please. That sounds delicious,” David said.

“Alright, David and Clint, we’re on cider duty. Marcy and Patrick, track down donuts. Back here in ten?”

David’s eyes widened briefly. “I appreciate your strategic approach on festival foods.”

“David Rose, I think we’re going to get along just fine. You’ll have to come back for the Christmas festival to see how I tackle Cookie Row.”

“Cookie Row? Like, a series of booths dedicated to Christmas cookies?”

“You got it. There’s a half dozen kinds of gingerbread, sugar cookies in nearly every variation you can imagine, and—“

Patrick couldn’t hear her any longer because she and David began walking away without a word to anyone else. His dad shrugged and laughed at Patrick and his mom. “Guess I’ll follow my sister, then.”

“Please make sure she returns David. I’d prefer she didn’t run away with him.” Patrick crooked his arm. “Shall we find donuts before Aunt Peggy has our heads?”

His mom wrapped an arm through his. “That went well. If Peggy likes him, the rest of the family will.”

Patrick shuddered at the memory of how Peggy’s dislike of his cousin’s boyfriend led to them breaking up a few years ago. “He’s pretty great.”

“He is. You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy. You have a lightness about you.”

He looked at his mom. “Yeah?”

“I know part of it is the store and you’re finally doing something you love every day, but I know a lot of it is David.”

He wanted to correct her. To tell her they were fake dating so he could come out and that he was lying to her, but he couldn’t admit it. Not yet. Maybe when he was home and things settled, he’d admit what he’d done. If he had to. Maybe he wouldn’t have to because he and David would make it official.

“You sounded different after you met David. There was a new life to you that your dad and I could hear when we spoke to you. When you talked about him, your voice changed and you became animated.”

“I did?” Patrick stared at the ground ahead of him. He had no idea he’d been so obvious. “For that long?”

“Oh honey, didn’t you know? You sounded depressed and stressed most of the time, but when you’d talk about a vendor David found or how David decorated the store or how David up-sold someone, you always sounded so proud from the beginning. The day you told us you signed onto the store? You sounded radiant.”

“I- I had no idea.” He knew he’d liked David from moment B13, but he didn’t realize others could well. Well, other than Alexa and Stevie because they were worse than meddling aunts. His parents though? Observant enough to pick up on his feelings for David but not enough to tell he wasn’t happy with Rachel.

“Sweetheart, we know you weren’t happy with Rachel. Not like you should be with someone you want to marry.”

“You could tell?” Patrick stopped walking and turned to face her.

“It wasn’t as obvious in the moment as it is now. Seeing you with David is nothing like how you were with Rachel. I think I assumed it was because you two got together when you were so young. I wondered if it would be different if you’d met later in your twenties, but I was wrong and I’m sorry for making assumptions about you. Your dad and I have been doing a lot of reading and we have learned how damaging assumptions can be.”

Patrick wiped at the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. He cleared his throat several times. “Thanks, mom. I- I didn’t know I was gay. Not until last year. So, it wasn’t like I was hiding it from you because I didn’t feel safe. I- I just didn’t know.”

“Oh, honey.” His mom wrapped her arms around him and held him close as the crowd moved around them. “I’m so proud of you for figuring out who you are. Many people go their whole life and never figure that out.”

He pulled back and looked into her loving face. Most people never figure that out. Huh. He’d spent so much time beating himself up for not understanding his sexuality that he hadn’t stopped to realize that was only one part of his life. He knew himself well in many other ways and was grateful for it.

“Let’s get those donuts and get you back to your wonderful boyfriend.”

“Yeah.” The pang of guilt didn’t hit as hard that time. He was determined to talk to David. “Thanks, Mom.”

Armed with bags of mini pumpkin, apple cider and chocolate donuts, they made their way back to the rest of the group.

David greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and traded Patrick’s drink for a donut bag. “Thank you, honey.” David’s eyes widened for a moment, and Patrick’s entire body hummed.

He kissed David on the cheek. “You’re welcome, baby,” he whispered in David’s ear and didn’t miss David’s shiver.

They wandered the vendor booths and David collected business cards from those he thought they could contact for the store. He loved watching David in action. The way people lit up when his attention was focused solely on them, like a plant under a beam of sunlight.

“How would you feel about a soft pretzel while we check out the pumpkins? A base layer of bread and carbs before we drink later.”

David arched an eyebrow. “Are you planning on drinking a lot, Mr. Brewer?”

He shrugged. “Not planning on it necessarily, but it’s a bachelor party and my cousin is persuasive. All my cousins are persuasive.”

“Hmm, maybe I should stay sober. One of us should be responsible.” David didn’t look over at Patrick as they walked, but Patrick didn’t miss his smirk.

“And by responsible you mean alert enough to capture any embarrassing footage to show Stevie and Alexis later?”

David turned his head toward Patrick. His eyes twinkled in the twilight and he had his lips tugged between his teeth. “Maaaybe."

“No way, David. You’re drinking too.”

“But you’ve seen me drunk already.”

It was Patrick’s turn to smirk. “Exactly.”

“You’ve got that look on your face.”

“What look?” He stopped at the end of the pretzel line.

“The one you get when you’ve figured out a new tax thing that’ll save us money.”

He bit his bottom lip. David knew his looks? “It’s going to be fun. But we should probably start hydrating now.”

“Good call.”

Patrick bought them each a pretzel and bottle of water. They made their way back to the pumpkins.

“Wow, this is amazing.” David tucked his water bottle under his arm as he tried to one-handed pull out his phone and take a photo.

“Here, I’ll hold your pretzel.”

David smiled sweetly at him. “Thank you.” He snapped a few photos as they walked.

Patrick held out the pretzel.

“Thanks for holding it.”

“No, I mean tear off a bite. I can keep holding it while you take photos. Airdrop them to me later.”

“Oh.” David tilted his head and looked at Patrick like no one had ever thought of helping David do something he wanted. It broke Patrick’s heart to think of all the kindness David deserved but people hadn’t shown him. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem.” Patrick bit off a piece of his own pretzel.

“Check out the Frankenstein one. The detail!” David dodged someone to get a close-up photo. He paused to take photos of a couple dozen pumpkins. Watching David experience the festival helped Patrick see it with fresh eyes.

They reached the end of the promenade, and David’s smile was huge. “That was amazing! There’s so many pumpkins. Did everyone in this town do one?”

Patrick laughed. “Just about. It’s better than I remember.” Better experiencing it with David. His enthusiasm was infectious.

“Hey boys, have fun?” Patrick’s mom smiled at them.

“Yes! I loved it,” David said.

“You’ll have to come back next year. You two only saw part of the festival. There’s so much more to see. The Saturday morning parade is fun.”

David shot a glance at Patrick. His stomach seized. He wanted David to come back next year and see the festival again. “Morning? I don’t know.”

His parents laughed. “We’re going to head back. What are you two up to?”

Patrick turned to David. “Would you be okay heading back with my parents? I have a costume-related errand to run.”

David narrowed his eyes. “A _surprise_ costume-related errand?”

Patrick nodded. He’d been confident about his costume choice when he’d reserved the suit, but now, in practice, he doubted everything. What if David thought it was silly? Or too much? Or he could see right through Patrick’s effort to impress him? God, he was so dumb. He should have chosen something funny or dorky.

“That’s perfect. It gives me time to get mine ready and surprise you.” Patrick knew that tone and it sent a surge through his body like a livewire. That was David’s smug as hell “you’re going to love this” tone.

“Perfect. I’ll see you soon?”

“Mmhmm.” David wrapped a hand around Patrick’s neck and leaned in to kiss his cheek. His thumb rubbed against the sensitive skin under Patrick’s ear.

He looked over David’s shoulder and found his parents smiling at him. He turned and made his way back to his car and hoped he’d stop second-guessing his costume choice any moment.


	15. Chapter 15

“Why are you FaceTiming me. We have a text-based friendship.” Stevie took a swig from her wine glass.

“Pre-funking for a randoms mission?”

“How’d you guess?” She grinned.

“You’re drinking white.”

Stevie held out the bottle and studied it like she had no idea what she was drinking. “Huh.”

“I’ve made a huge mistake.”

“Was the sex good?” She waggled her eyebrows.

David plopped stomach-first on Patrick’s bed. “Why would you assume we had sex? And why would that be a mistake?” As soon as he saw her maniacal glee, he knew the tactical error he’d made. “A costume-related mistake,” he clarified.

“End up accidentally bringing one of your sister’s? I’m sure you’ll look great in a mini skirt. You have nice legs.”

“Well, thank you, but no. I have the right costume, but I’m doubting my decision. It’s too… much. He’ll know immediately I picked it out for him.”

“What’s so bad about that?”

Ugh. Stevie’s ability to ask the exact wrong (or right?) questions was fucking infuriating.

“And if you say ‘because I don’t know how he feels,’ I’m going to beat you with this empty bottle when you get home tomorrow.”

“Violence is beneath you, Stevie.”

“Is it though?”

He sighed.

“How’s the weekend been going?”

“Great,” he mumbled with his face pressed into the bed. “He’s great. His family is great. His friends are great. I even met his ex, and spoiler alert, she’s great.”

“And the problem is?”

“We woke up cuddling. _Both_ mornings.”

“Wait. You’re sharing a bed?” David watched Stevie’s background shift as she moved to sit somewhere. “What happened to the whole no marriage, no bed sharing thing?”

“They got rid of the guest bed and it wouldn’t look like a very convincing relationship if I stayed at a hotel.”

Stevie doubled over with laughter. “What’s your costume?”

“Abaseballplayer,” he said in a rush.

She froze and gaped at him. “You’re dressing up in a baseball uniform?! Jesus Christ, David! He’s going to come in his pants as soon as he sees you.”

“You think so?” He lifted up his head.

“God, you’re pathetic. Tell him you want him to play with the bat and balls in your pants, and everything will be fine.”

“You’re no help.”

“Send me a photo of you in the uniform. I need a good laugh today.”

“Super nice. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now go.”

“Best wishes.” She disconnected before he could get “warmest regards” words out.

He rolled onto his back and stared up at Patrick’s ceiling. How the hell did he end up in Patrick’s childhood bedroom pretending to be his boyfriend?

Giving himself thirty seconds for an existential crisis, he climbed off the bed to get dressed before Patrick got back. Digging the costume from one of his bags, he unrolled the clothes and put them on. Drawing the line at tennis shoes or those spiky sporty ones, he’d make his white Rick Owens work with the white pants and blue baseball jersey. The only saving grace was seeing Blue Jays merch all over Patrick’s room. At least he’d gotten the team right when he’d hit eBay. Staring at himself in the bathroom mirror, he tried to work up enough nerve to put the baseball cap on.

Such a huge mistake. He was about to meet a bunch of Patrick’s cousins and friends wearing a baseball uniform with flat hair under a disgusting cap. What the hell had he been thinking?

“Hey David, I’m back. Want to come up when you’re ready?” Patrick called down the stairs.

No. “Yeah,” he yelled back and shoved the hat on his head. Oh. My fucking. God. He looked ridiculous. He still looked good, obviously, but ridiculous.

Clearing his throat, he spritzed his cologne, walked back to the bedroom to put a few things in his tiny as hell baseball pant pockets, and trudged up the stairs like a man on his way to the gallows. Gathering his nerves, he opened the door and walked toward the sound of the Brewers chatting in the living room.

He spotted Marcy and Clint in their recliners first as he rounded the corner. “Hi,” he said shyly as Marcy’s eyes lit up. Another figure stood to the side and oh my—

“David,” Patrick said on an exhale. “You look- wow.” He strode toward David and pulled him into a not entirely chaste kiss, especially in front of his parents. Kiss number three. Patrick pulled back enough to say, “You look amazing.”

David blinked at him as he tried to control his heart and breathing. That- that wasn’t the reaction he’d expected. Patrick had stalked toward him like a lion chasing a gazelle.

Patrick took a couple steps back, and his gaze traveled up and down David several times, and then he attempted (and failed) to cover his smile with his fingers. “I like it.”

David should do a little spin and show off a bit, but he couldn’t because his brain malfunctioned at the vision of Patrick Brewer in a fucking tailored ivory dinner jacket. Holy shit. It obviously wasn’t designer, but David couldn’t care less because it hugged Patrick’s shoulders as well as any Tom Ford piece would.

“Are-“ David coughed the crack in his voice away. “Are you dressed as James Bond?” The words came out as a hoarse whisper. He let his attention travel up Patrick’s body, several times, taking in all of the details. The flower tucked over his heart drew David’s attention. It wasn’t the carnation from the Bond movies, but a red rose. Oh my.

Patrick’s natural blush looked even pinker against the pale jacket. “Yeah.” He opened his mouth, but seemed to reconsider whatever he’d been about to say.

“You, um, you look amazing. I think we need a dress code at the store because this is working for you.” He gestured for Patrick to do a spin, and he damn near groaned at the delicious vision of Patrick’s ass in those pants.

“As long as you wear a baseball uniform every day, I’ll wear this.” Patrick’s flush crept up, but he’d managed a tone with the perfect blend of flirty and teasing.

“I- I’d need to think about it.”

Patrick’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates. The fact it hadn’t been an automatic ‘hell no’ was pretty damn obvious on second thought.

He couldn’t believe Patrick’s costume. Immediately, he knew why Patrick had chosen it. Their conversation had been months ago and meaningless at the time. One of a hundred slow afternoons spent bickering over something random. That time, Patrick had argued the merits of action films and David arguing he was an idiot. As they closed up the store, they’d agreed that the Bond movies were the only overlap in their Venn diagram of that particular debate.

Months ago.

“Your turn.” Patrick circled his finger.

David playfully rolled his eyes, but did a slow spin. He looked over his shoulder to find Patrick staring at his ass. “Have a thing for baseball pants?”

“I think I do. Yeah.” He chuckled. “Probably should’ve figured that out years ago.”

“Better late than never.” God. If he was already flirting and they hadn’t had any alcohol? He was so screwed.

“Can I get a picture of you two?”

David startled. He’d forgotten Patrick’s parents were there, which was completely understandable. Try paying attention to something else when Patrick Brewer was dressed as James Bond.

Patrick handed his phone to her. “Take it with mine? I’ll text it to you.” He turned to David. “And you,” he said quickly then looked away.

Marcy directed them to stand in front of the fireplace decorated with a crocheted garland of black cats and ghosts, fake jack o’ lanterns, and kitschy Halloween figurines. David wrapped his arm around Patrick’s shoulders, and Patrick wrapped his around David’s waist. Their arms moved into those positions naturally as though they did it every day. Was that what he’d missed out on by going to a high school that didn’t do school dances?

“You boys ready to go?” Clint stood from his chair.

“Dad’s going to give us a ride and we’ll take a taxi back.”

David bit the corner of his mouth. “Sounds good.” He felt like a teenager being driven to a party, and he kinda liked it.

Patrick accepted the phone back from his mom and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He turned to look back at David’s baseball cap and smiled before turning and following his dad to the front door.


	16. Chapter 16

“Patty!”

Patrick turned toward the woops and hollers. “Are you ready for this?”

David smiled at him. The smile he’d used when Patrick had freaked out about their bottom line after a particularly slow week and when he’d realized he’d messed up an important form. David knew exactly how to soothe him. “I’m ready. Are you?”

“Having you here is helping. Thank you.”

David looked at his feet and smiled. “My pleasure. What kind of an entrance do you want to make?”

Patrick grabbed David’s hand. “Go big or go home.” He led them over to the rowdy group of people at the far end of the bar.

“You know, I don’t think I’m ever going to get tired of hearing people yell, ‘Patty’ at you.”

“Don’t you get any wise ideas.” He tried to keep the grin from forming.

“I don’t know. If I have to deal with Roland calling me Dave, then I think it’s only fair he calls you Patty.”

“He calls me Pat already.”

David made a pouty face. “That’s not as fun.”

They made it to the crowd, and he realized the tension he’d felt walking into the bar was gone. God, David was good. “Thank you,” he whispered in David’s ear. David squeezed his hand and let go as Patrick’s cousins dogsled on him.

After the rounds of hugs and “where the hell have you been” and “why don’t you text more” and “what the hell is in Schitt’s Creek” and “oh my God are you wearing a tux,” his cousins turned their attention to David.

“So, is this the hot boyfriend my mom texted me about?” Jared, dressed as the Devil, turned to face David and arched an eyebrow. Patrick held his breath. Of course Peggy would have started the family phone tree.

“Hot boyfriend. I like that.” David held out his hand. “Hi, I’m David.”

“Jared. I’m Peggy’s son.” They shook hands.

David lit up. “I love your mom.” His eyes went wide for a moment. Patrick was just as surprised by David’s admission.

“You should’ve seen those two together. I think she likes him more than me.” Patrick wrapped an arm around David’s waist because he could.

“I think she does too.” Jared turned his attention back to David. “You made quite the impression. If both my mom and Patrick like you? Well, welcome to the family.”

Patrick didn’t stop the smile from taking over his face. David looked surprisingly pleased, not terrified or uncomfortable. Patrick was so damn happy.

“Let me introduce you around.” Jared placed his open hand below David’s shoulder and pulled him further into the crowd.

David looked over his shoulder and shot Patrick a mildly panicked look. Patrick shrugged and grinned as he followed them.

“You made it! Patty, I’m so glad you came back for my bachelor party.” Mike swayed a little and dribbled his beer on his Superman T-shirt as he leaned in for a hug. Patrick kept a little distance in the hug because he wasn’t confident Mike wouldn’t spill his half-empty beer on Patrick’s rented dinner jacket. He now realized ivory had been a mistake for a bachelor party, then again, David’s reaction made it worth any damage charges.

“Thanks for the invite, man. Congratulations. I’m happy you and Becky are finally getting married.” He wasn’t as close to Mike as he was with Jared and a few of his other cousins since Mike was several years younger, but even not being close was closer than other families were with their cousins. The Brewers were a close family and seeing several of his cousins reminded him of how much he’d walked away from a year ago when he fled.

“What’s this about you being gay?”

Patrick froze. “Uh…”

Mike slapped Patrick’s arm. “Good thing you figured it out before you married Rachel, huh?”

Patrick let out a hollow laugh. “Yeah, good thing.”

“Rachel’s nice and everything, but I’d say you leveled up. Your boyfriend looks like a model or something.” Mike rested his arm on Patrick’s shoulder and turned to face David. “Is he a baseball fan too or was the costume choice for you?” Mike waggled his eyebrows.

Patrick didn’t respond, but he was sure Mike could read the answer on his face. They watched David smile through the onslaught of introductions. The Brewers were _a lot_ and David didn’t always do well with a lot, but he seemed to be holding up on his own.

“I’m going to get a drink. Can I get you anything?”

Mike grinned. “Fresh beer. Thanks, man.”

“You got it.” Patrick made his way through the crowd to David. “Hey.”

“Hi,” David said on a mildly stressed exhale.

“Now I get why you’ve stayed in Schitt’s Creek. I wouldn’t leave either.”

“Okay, Katie, simmer down. He’s taken.” Patrick rolled his eyes at his flirtiest cousin and it took a few moments before he realized what he’d said. He didn’t dare look at David’s reaction.

“I’m just saying, you’re playing out of your league, Patty. He wears a uniform better than half the Blue Jays.” She turned to David. “Any luck breaking him out of his terrifying reliance on blue button-ups?”

David tilted his head back and laughed. He grabbed the top of the ball cap when it started to fall off. “No, Katie. Believe me, I’ve tried. But they’ve grown on me.” David turned his full attention on Patrick and he nearly stumbled back from the force of it. “I wouldn’t know what to do if he wore anything else. It’s probably Pavlovian at this point, though, this getup is definitely working for me.”

They stared at each other amidst the music and loud talking and well-meaning cousins and friends trying to get their attention. “Want to get a drink?”

“Absolutely.”

Patrick turned to walk toward the bar, ignoring Katie’s laughs. His steps faltered when David hooked a finger around Patrick’s pinky as they moved through the crowd. They squeezed into an empty slot at the bar barely big enough for two people.

“How’d that go?”

David turned to face Patrick. Their bodies were almost touching from knees to chest. Almost. “I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of good-natured earnestness of the Brewer clan. I’m now realizing your earnestness is a family trait.”

Patrick tilted his head. “You think I’m earnest?”

David blinked at him several times, then laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. He bent at the waist and rested his head on Patrick’s shoulder. “If I looked ‘earnest’ up in the dictionary, I’d see your face.”

He wasn’t sure how to take that. “Is that a good thing or?”

David rested a hand on Patrick’s arm. “A very good thing. It’s one of the reasons I felt comfortable enough to accept your business proposal.”

“One of, huh? What were the others?”

A flash of panic took over David’s features before he schooled them. “What are you drinking?”

Patrick eyed him for a moment, but let it pass. “Something clear, I’m thinking.” He looked down at the jacket.

“Hmm, good point. Probably the same for me too. These pants are borrowed.” David turned his head toward the nearby bartender.

“Right! I didn’t think to ask where you got the costume. I was, um, a bit distracted.” His ears went hot.

David smirked at him. “I bought the jersey and hat, and borrowed the pants from Ronnie.”

“You-“ Patrick’s brain went offline for a moment. “You _bought_ a baseball jersey and hat? And you asked _Ronnie_ to borrow baseball pants?” He involved another person in his costume planning? Jesus.

“Um, yeah.” David kept his attention on the bartender.

Patrick stepped closer so the front of his thigh touched David’s. “Are you gonna make that jersey a regular part of your wardrobe?”

David snorted. “Absolutely not.”

“What if I invite you over to watch a game?”

“Why would I want to watch a baseball game?”

“The food.”

“What kind of food?”

“Hot dogs, sliders, meatballs, cheese, all sorts of things.”

“Would wearing the jersey be a requirement?” The corner of David’s mouth twitched.

“Yes, David. There’s a dress code. I have standards, you know.” He turned to watch the bartender, but felt David’s eyes on him.

“Clearly.”

“Hi, what can I get you?” A woman wearing black cat ears and a low cut black dress smiled at them.

“A vodka and soda, please.”

“Make that two. And can we get two shots of vodka with lemon slices, please? And a Bud Light?” He hated to get Mike such crappy beer, but with how tipsy he seemed already, he could use a beer with an alcohol content barely above water.

“You got it.”

“Shots, huh?”

“We’ve got to catch up, David. I’m very competitive.”

“Mm. So am I. How well do you hold your liquor, Patty?”

“Pretty well, Davey”

David’s grin looked predatory.

“Here you go. Cash out or tab?”

Patrick passed his card over. “Tab, please. Thanks.” He turned to David. “My treat. Consider it payment for putting up with my family.”

“And they say chivalry is dead.” David picked up one shot glass and picked the lemon off the rim. “To a good night.”

Patrick clinked his shot glass against David’s. “To a _great_ night.” He swallowed the sizable shot in one go and managed to barely wince at the sour lemon.


	17. Chapter 17

The bachelor part turned out to be a lot more fun than David had expected. The Brewer family had a universal language of teasing. Good thing his daily dose of Patrick had trained him well for such an occasion because he held his own. The more David teased back, the more touchy feely Patrick became. So, obviously, David teased as much as he could, which meant spending a lot of time with Katie. She reminded him of a softer Stevie.

“Another?” Patrick grabbed the empty glass from David’s hand.

“Sure, thanks.”

“Be right back.” Patrick leaned up and kissed David, smiling into it.

David felt a small moan escape his throat, but he hoped no one heard it over the top 40 music blaring in the bar. Tipsy Patrick was handsy _and_ lipsy and David was here. For. It.

“You know, I’ve seen him touch you more tonight than I saw him touch Rachel in all the years they were together.” Katie elbowed David in the ribs.

“Seriously?” He couldn’t imagine that. Patrick seemed so naturally affectionate with his words, gestures, and this weekend, behavior. He was probably the kind of guy who loved to spend a Sunday morning snuggled up in bed and a Sunday afternoon cuddling on the couch reading. That sounded nice.

“When I got word this afternoon that Patrick was in town with a boyfriend, I gotta say, I was pretty shocked. But seeing you two together? I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. He never looked settled with Rachel. I met a couple of the other women he dated, and I always figured he was just awkward as fuck.”

David laughed. “He’s surprisingly smooth.” He knew that would translate deliciously to the bedroom. The way Patrick casually touched him, like a grasp of the hip when he liked something David said, told him he’d be quite attentive.

“Definitely don’t need to hear that about my cousin. Gross.” Her eyes crinkled as she laughed.

He didn’t even want to correct her. He wanted everyone in that bar to think he had snagged Patrick. That he was the kind of man Patrick Brewer could want because Patrick was the best kind of man who deserved someone even better.

“Well, thanks for telling me that.”

“Thanks for making him happy. He deserves the best.”

David sighed. “He sure does.”

“He sure does what?” Patrick pressed a glass into David’s hand and another into Katie’s.

“Just talking about how Daniel Craig is the best Bond.”

“Absolutely not!”

David sipped his drink as Patrick and Katie argued over the merits of the various Bonds. Katie winked at him during a particularly impassioned monologue where Patrick waxed poetic about Sean Connery.

“He has a thing for chest hair.” David waved his hand. He, in fact, had no idea if Patrick had a thing for chest hair, but given his own lack of access to waxing facilities, he could hope.

Patrick sputtered and looked up at David. “Yes. I absolutely do,” he said with a certainty that had David’s dick twitch. Not the best outfit for groin movement. Patrick grabbed David’s waist with his free hand.

“On that note, I’m going to go somewhere else where the people are less disgustingly in love. Ew.”

In love. God, he wished. What he’d do to get Patrick to look at him like that every day. Knowing he’d always be the one to put that look on Patrick’s face. He might as well keep leaning into it while he had the chance. The drinks in his system had turned his filter offline, which was Future David’s problem.

He draped his arms over Patrick’s shoulders. “Having fun?”

“The most fun. You?”

“Mmhmm.” He smiled at Patrick and didn’t care how dopey he looked. “Your family seems to have acclimated well to your big news.”

“They have, and I have you to thank for that.”

David shook his head. “No. They love you and want to see you happy. You’re happy so they’re happy.” After meeting nearly a dozen of Patrick’s family members, he had a hard time imagining why Patrick was worried to tell them. Then again, that earnestness factor packed a punch. If he had all those people trying to set him up or convince him to get back together with his ex girlfriend, he’d want to bring home a boyfriend during a coming out too.

“David, I’m very happy.” So. Fucking. Earnest. God.

“That’s- that’s good. You deserve to be happy.”

Patrick stepped closer. “So do you. Are you happy?”

In that moment? Absofuckinglutely. During the weekend? Hell yes. In the store with Patrick? Always. When Roland commandeered his family’s meals at the cafe with his ridiculous stories? Not so much. “I’m very happy. And I’m happy this is going well for you. That your family has accepted this new knowledge about you.”

Patrick smiled softly at him. “Thank you, David.” His smile shifted into something… flirtier? “Though, I might need to sell it a bit more.”

“Oh?” David said on an exhale.

“Yeah.” Patrick released David’s hip and he immediately missed the contact. He reached up and turned David’s hat around so the bill pointed backward. Before David could protest at such disregard for his hair getting tugged under the monstrosity of headwear, Patrick kissed him. Not a peck or slightly lengthy chaste exploration like their handful of previous kisses. No. This was- it was hot. Patrick’s tongue demanded entrance and who was David to deny? It was a fucking miracle he managed not to spill his drink or pull back before pulling Patrick into a bathroom. The handful of whistles and catcalls had triggered David’s often absent sense of modesty.

Patrick licked his lips and stared wide-eyed at David for a moment before breaking out into a wide smile. “Well.”

“Yup. Yeah. If there were any doubts among your family, I bet they’re gone now.”

Patrick stared at David with a raw openness that sent a shiver down his spine. “David, I—“

“If you’re done playing tonsil hockey with your boyfriend, we’re going to do family photos before Mike blacks out.” Jared had lost the horns on his head at some point since David had last seen him.

Patrick leaned up and pressed a quick peck against David’s lips. “Back in a few.”

All David could manage was a nod. He watched the Brewers cluster together and pose against a far wall. Patrick looked so damn happy.

“Hi, David.”

He turned toward the voice. “Rachel? Hi. Um, how are you? Enjoying the festival?” He hoped he sounded normal. Polite. Chit-chat wasn’t his strongest suit.

She laughed. “Yes, thanks. You?”

“Mm. Yes. It’s very sweet. I loved the pumpkin promenade.”

“Did you leave one?”

He couldn’t help the smile he felt overtake his face. “Yup. Patrick taught me how and we each carved one today.” He faltered. Was it weird to talk about what he and Patrick did with his ex fiancee?

“Did he pick something easy? Or choose a design beyond his skill set and get angry at himself for not being able to do it right?”

David laughed. “Easy, but I can definitely see him getting frustrated over pumpkin carving.” Just like he got frustrated when he couldn’t get an Excel formula to work correctly.

“I-“ She cleared her throat. “It’s nice to see him happy. With you.”  
“Is it?” His voice went shrill and he knew his face was doing it’s thing. He could practically feel his eyebrows at his hairline.

She smiled sweetly at him. “I was surprised, but I’ve been thinking about it and it all makes sense. Especially seeing that kiss a few minutes ago.” She raised an eyebrow. “He never kissed me like that.”

“Oh.” He didn’t know what to say to that.

“You’ll treat him well, won’t you?”

David nodded. “I will. I’ll treat him as well as I can.” As a friend, a business partner, and more, if they ever got there.

“Well, I’d better get back to my friends. It was good to see you again, David.”

“You too.” He hesitated. “And, um, Rachel?”

She turned back around. “Yeah?”

“Thanks for being so accepting of Patrick’s news. It’s great to see people care about him so much and responding so well.” He knew how much of a confidence booster it could be for someone to have a successful coming out experience with their loved ones, and he wanted that for Patrick.

She smiled and nodded, then turned to walk away.

David’s eyes found Patrick again. Patrick glanced at him between photos with a crease between his brows. He offered a reassuring smile and a dorky as hell thumbs up to him. God. A thumbs up? Really? Jesus.

A few minutes later, Patrick returned with fresh drinks. “One more? I think I’m switching to water after this one. I don’t want to have a headache on the drive tomorrow.”

“So sensible.” The mention of driving home tomorrow hit David like a bucket of cold water.

“Hey, you okay?”

David blinked the dose of reality away. “I’m great. Thanks for the drinks.” He shimmied his shoulders to distract Patrick.

As the bar continued to fill, the crowd pushed against them, which forced their bodies against each other. Their hips touched and if either of them so much as had a single dick twitch, the other would surely feel it. Then again, Patrick’s polyester pants were probably nearly as desensitizing as steel.

Patrick’s arm wrapped around David’s waist. “Feel like you’ve gotten your Hallmark experience?”

David closed his eyes and hummed. The alcohol had his body loose and brain fuzzy. “Mostly.”

“Oh?”

“Small town festival? Check. Adorable traditions like a pumpkin promenade? Check. Apple cider in drink and donut form? Check.”

“It’s sounding promising so far.” Someone walked behind David and knocked him into Patrick. Patrick responded by tightening the grip around David’s waist, holding him in place. What was he supposed to do other than drape his arms over Patrick’s shoulders again? The man was the perfect height for it. He’d be an asshole not to take advantage. And David was not an asshole. Okay, he was totally an asshole, but still.

“It _is_ promising. So far.” David tucked his smile into the corner of his mouth.

“So far, huh?”

“It’s what I said.”

“What’s missing from the Hallmark experience?”

David tapped a finger against his lips as he looked up toward the ceiling. “Well, Hallmark movies are pretty PG, so I suppose the chaste Hallmark kiss is also a check.”

“Mm. Shame.”

“Is it?” David’s voice went a little high at the end.

“I think the cupcakes were a check too.”

“Yes. Can’t forget about the cupcakes.” He trailed his thumb back and forth at the nape of Patrick’s neck. “So, I guess I’ve gotten the Hallmark experience.” Except for the happily ever after.

“I guess so. Just about.” Patrick pulled David even closer so their chests touched.

Just about?

Patrick’s eyebrows tilted down and perfectly framed his wide, honey whiskey eyes. David wished he could read the thoughts running behind them.

“Hey lovebirds, I’m going to call a cab and head out. I gotta work in the morning.”

Patrick turned toward Katie but didn’t release David. “Want to share the cab?” He turned to David. “Katie doesn’t live far from my parents. And since the town is too small for a ride share, we only have a couple of cabs and it could take a while to get another.”

David nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He liked the flirty bubble they’d formed in the bar and didn’t really want to leave it yet, but they had a long day ahead of them tomorrow.

Patrick held David’s hand as they said their goodbyes to the cousins sober enough to pay attention.

“You coming back for the wedding, Patty?”

“Wouldn’t miss it, Mike.”

“Good. Bring David.” Mike turned toward him and blinked slowly. He hoped someone was getting water into that man. “You’d be fun at the reception. You’ll come, right?”

“Mm,” was all David could manage. He didn’t want to lie to the guy’s face. Drunk or not, that was a step too far. Kissing Patrick’s breath away in front of his family was okay because David _wanted_ it. Well, he wanted to be Patrick’s date to the wedding too, but Patrick wouldn’t need him for that. He was out and free to bring whoever he wanted. Maybe by then he’d be dating someone and OH GOD. David balled his hand into a fist at the thought of Patrick with someone else. He had to tell Patrick how he felt. But not tonight. No declarations of anything with alcohol in him. Patrick deserved that conversation to be sober.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for tipsy/drunk sex

“I guess I just wasn’t expecting so many people to be in baseball costumes,” David said from behind Patrick.

Patrick grabbed onto the stair railing so he didn’t trip and break his neck in the basement. “It’s kind of an easy costume.” David made a wounded sound, and Patrick laughed. “An easy costume for _other people_. The type of clothes already in their closet.”

David tskd. “Then it’s not a costume. A good Halloween costume requires creativity or stepping out of one’s comfort zone.”

Patrick reached the bottom of the stairs, though the floor seemed to spin a bit. He turned to offer a hand to David. “You definitely stepped out of your comfort zone. Best looking baseball player in the bar.” A whisper of concern over his blatant flirting without (the ruse of?) pretending in front of others passed through Patrick’s mind, just out of reach.

Accepting Patrick’s offered hand, David descended the final two steps like tipsy royalty. “Thank you,” he said shyly.

He didn’t release David’s hand and he walked further in the basement until they stood between the oversized bean bag chairs and archaic TV. He turned to stare into David’s dark eyes. His skin was flushed and cap off-center. “I had a great time tonight. Today. The whole weekend. Thank you.”

David stepped into Patrick’s space. In his own tipsy state, Patrick managed not to make a fool of himself by leaning in and inhaling David’s heady mixture of sweat and woodsy cologne.

“I’ve had a great weekend too, Patrick.”

God, he loved how David said his name. Sometimes emphasizing the hard click at the end. Rushing up like a tsunami, Patrick was overcome with the impulse to tell David everything. “David.” He reached up and turned David’s hat backward.

“Patrick,” David said on a whisper as he leaned into Patrick’s space.

“David, what if we—“ Patrick lost his balance as David leaned in further and he tumbled backward. A beanbag cushioned his fall, and he cushioned David’s.

“Oomph.” David blinked as he looked at Patrick’s lips.

Patrick barely breathed. He worried if he so much as moved, David would climb off of him, and Patrick would lose the incredible feeling of David’s full weight on him. Jesus. He never wanted to move again.

“Patrick.” David’s eyes shifted until he looked into Patrick’s. Their hands still clasped, David pressed his other hand into the beanbag next to Patrick’s head.

No. He didn’t want David to use that hand to push himself up. He had to stay. Patrick knew he wasn’t thinking clearly. How could he with the alcohol and rush of David’s body pressed against his? But maybe it was better that way. Operate without the constant second-guessing and overthinking.

“David.” He barely heard his own voice as he shifted his free hand up to intertwine his fingers with David’s. Acting on instinct, he shifted their hands so they rested above Patrick’s head. “I—“ He couldn’t find the words. Didn’t know how to tell David what he wanted, but he knew David wanted it to. The hardening erection pressing into his hip and eyes dripping with desire were enough to embolden Patrick, so he hooked one leg over David’s calf. That slight shift brought their cocks in alignment. Holy shit. He swallowed. Hard.

“Patrick, I- I don’t want—“

“You don’t want to?” Patrick blinked at him. Embarrassed he’d completely misread every signal. How the hell had he read David so wrong?”

“No.” David pressed into Patrick, seemingly involuntarily. “I _want_. But your first time? I don’t- I don’t want to steal that from you.” David squeezed his eyes closed as he got the words out. He looked pained, but also like it was his last attempt at chivalry.

Patrick quickly identified a few possible options. One, he could tell David how badly he wanted him and how much he liked him. Admit his feelings. But he knew David well enough to know he’d assume it was the alcohol and prospect of sex talking, and he probably wouldn’t believe him. Two, he could stop them and go to bed. Talk it out on the drive home where he’d tell David how he felt. That option was practical and probably smart, but a voice in Patrick’s head feared David would turn him down. Not because he didn’t like Patrick, because Patrick was damn certain of it now. But because he maybe wouldn’t want to mess up their business partnership. Patrick was tired of playing it safe. Three, he could show David how he felt about him, and follow that up with words tomorrow.

“What are you thinking? I can see your wheels turning.” David eyed him carefully.

Time to make a decision. “You’re not stealing anything from me. I’m of sound mind,” he smirked. They were consenting adults who’d had months and months of verbal foreplay.

“Oh? Not so sure about that. We had a lot to drink.”

They had, but not _that_ much. Patrick sure as hell wouldn’t drive, but he knew what he was doing. He’d been thinking about it before any alcohol passed his lips. The alcohol had just removed a filter or two, but he didn’t know how David felt. “I’m tipsy, yeah, but I know what I’m doing.” He softened his expression. “But if you’re not feeling confident about your decision-making ability, I don’t want to do anything other than snuggle you as we fall asleep. I don’t want you to have any regrets,” he choked out. God, could he sound any dorkier?

“I like the sound of that. The snuggling,” David said as he blushed a little, but any visible hesitation fled as he pressed his hips into Patrick’s, soliciting a groan from deep in his chest. “And I’m feeling very confident about my decision-making ability.” David gyrated again as he kissed Patrick deeply. The inferno swept through Patrick’s insides, leaving a pile of dust in its path. All the sex he’d had with Rachel and other women, and nothing, _nothing_ , had him clawing at his insides with desire like the thrill of David moving on top of him. The weight, the hardness, the stubble tickling his chin.

Patrick pressed his hips up into David as they found a loose rhythm while their kissing grew even hotter. “God, David,” he moaned against his mouth.

“Mmhmm.” David kissed along his jaw until he reached Patrick’s ear and begin nibbling. Licks and kisses between the gentle bites. Enough to drive Patrick wild. He needed to touch David. Feel his body under his hands. He unclasped their hands and wrapped his fingers around David’s waist.

He hadn’t dry-humped since high school, but it had never been anywhere near that good before. He’d happily come without any skin contact, but he _wanted_ to touch David’s skin. Needed to.

“While I love this jacket,” David said as he licked under Patrick’s ear. “And I do, tou look so fucking sexy, it’s too much fabric.” Yes. Too much. David sat up and rested against his heels while Patrick removed the jacket. He took that moment to send a thank you to the universe for the series of events that led them to that beanbag chair. David grabbed it from him and gently folded it inside out and placed it on the ground next to them. “Now where were we?” David shimmied his shoulders and leaned back down over Patrick. And, God, the weight of him.

Patrick captured David’s mouth with his own and swallowed David’s moan.

“What do you want?”

“You.”

David chuckled against his mouth. “Good. That’s good. Specifically?”

“You right now?”

David groaned. “You’re the worst.”

Patrick reached around David and gripped his ass. “Am I, David? Am I the worst?” He ginned as David sighed into his mouth.

“The literal worst.”

“I think you like it.” Patrick pressed his hard cock into David’s. Fuck, it felt so damn good.

David lifted his head up and smiled. A full, real smile. “I do. I love how you tease me all the time. I knew you’d tease in bed too.” David stilled like he’d realized what he’d admitted.

Patrick couldn’t let him off that easy. “You’ve thought about me in bed, huh?”

David stared down at him for a long moment. “As if you haven’t.”

Patrick nipped at his bottom lip.

“How about we take this to the bed?”

He wanted to push and ask what he’d thought about, but they had tomorrow. He’d push tomorrow. “Let’s do that.”

David scrambled off Patrick and held his hand out to pull him up. Patrick didn’t release David’s hand as he picked up his jacket and followed David into the bedroom.

Patrick looked over at his childhood bed and damn near choked up thinking about how teenage Patrick would have never envisioned his life taking that turn.

“How about you shed your costume while I make a quick trip to the bathroom?”

“Okay,” Patrick breathed out. Once David left the bedroom and he heard the bathroom door close, Patrick rushed upstairs to the guest bathroom for a quick pee and to freshen up. He didn’t want anything distracting him from David. He’d made it back down and shed his costume while David was still in the bathroom. Donning just his boxers, he climbed on top of the covers as he leaned against the headboard.

He sat his phone on his nightstand and found a glass of water and pain pills waiting for him. The same on the other nightstand. His mom was so thoughtful. He drank half the glass and took the pills.

As minutes passed, Patrick’s buzz faded, his nerves focused on one thing: David alone in the bathroom changing his mind. By the time he heard the bathroom door open, Patrick braced himself for the worst. He expected David to laugh it off or say he didn’t want to mess up their friendship. What he wasn’t expecting was for David to stroll in wearing the baseball jersey and white boxer-briefs.

“Holy shit.” David’s long legs and thighs and hair. Jesus. The jersey. The bulge in his underwear. Patrick licked his lips. “Come here.”

David kneeled on the bed and crawled toward him. He’d imagined David a lot of ways and crawling toward him had definitely been on the list. Better than he could have dreamed up. He noticed David had fluffed up his hair a bit. That explained the bathroom time. And, mm, a bit of cologne.

He straddled Patrick’s legs and sat on his thighs as he squeezed Patrick’s biceps. “You’ve been hiding these guns under those button-ups?”

Patrick wrapped his hands around David’s thighs. “You’ve been hiding these under those skirted pants?”

“Have you given any thought to what you want?” David’s attention traveled slowly from Patrick’s face down his neck, chest, stomach, and landed on his boxers. He could _feel_ David’s gaze, and his cock twitched. “Oh, hello.”

Patrick chuckled at the glee etched on David’s features. They’d barely done anything and he already wanted to do it again and again. Watch David let loose and relax in ways Patrick rarely got to see. “I want to touch you. I want you to touch me.” He didn’t exactly know what he wanted or how he wanted it, but he knew with complete certainty he needed to get his hands on David’s cock.

David reached forward and grabbed Patrick’s hand. He gently pressed a kiss to the pad of each finger, then slowly licked up Patrick’s palm while not breaking eye contact.

“David. Fuck.” Patrick’s head fell back against the wall as he swallowed. David sucked two fingers into his mouth. The warm heat of David’s mouth caused Patrick’s head to snap back up to attention.

David dropped a small bottle on the bed next to them and used his now free hand to pull the waistband of his underwear away from his stomach as he used his other hand to pull Patrick’s spit-slicked one down into the gap. “Touch me. Please.”

He nearly came at David saying “please.” The angle was off, but reaching into David’s underwear without being able to see anything, and his chest hidden under his favorite team’s jersey? That _definitely_ worked for him.

Patrick’s knuckles brushed against the velvety skin of David’s dick. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. “David. God.” He licked his lips as he tightened his grip. “You feel—“ He dropped his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Losing himself to the sensation of David’s thickness in his grip.

David scraped his fingernails along the sections of Patrick’s thighs he could reach. “That feels so good, Patrick. Your hands. Fuck. Your hands are even better than I’d imagined.”

Patrick opened his eyes and grinned at David as he let his hand travel down to cup David’s balls. “You imagined?”  
David blinked at him as his eyes seemed to refocus. He trailed his fingers down Patrick’s chest. “Obviously.” He pressed into Patrick’s grip.

He changed his grip to his palm facing up, and David groaned. “It’s nice to hear I’m not alone.”

“Mm. Definitely not alone. I’ve imagined lots of things.” David’s hips moved in time with Patrick’s strokes. He didn’t even seem aware of his movements, like he was lost to the sensations Patrick gave him. And damn if that wasn’t the hottest thing Patrick had ever seen.

“What kinds of things?” Patrick managed in a hoarse voice. He didn’t want to come embarrassingly early, but if he came to David describing all the things he’d imagined they’d do? Well. There were worse things to be embarrassed by.

David leaned in and kissed the air from Patrick’s lungs. “I’ve thought about that. A lot. Kissing that smug smile off your face when you win our game.”

Patrick smiled as David expertly used his tongue to light a fire down his neck. He loved their game. Quickly guessing what someone would buy before they walked into the store. David usually won, which made Patrick rightfully extra smug when he guessed correctly. David could kiss the smile off his face any time. Should he say that out loud? He probably should, but words were hard when David kissed down his chest.

“And definitely this.” He flicked the tip of his tongue over one of Patrick’s nipples. He gasped and arched up. Nipples hadn’t been much of a hot button for him before, but with David? Jesus.

“What else?” He croaked out as he reached to put his second hand in David’s boxers so he could play with his balls while stroking him, but David batted his hand away.

“I want to touch.” David held his face centimeters away from Patrick’s. “Can I?”

“David, you can do anything you want.”

David chuckled as he gently bit Patrick’s bottom lip. “You know, I’ve noticed you watching my hands.” He splayed his fingers out on Patrick’s stomach. “Have you thought about me touching you?”

All he could do was nod emphatically. Watching David’s fingers move toward the waistband of his boxers, relishing the sensations lighting him up from the inside, and stroking David were too many things to manage at once. He focused his attention on touching David. On firmly running his fingers behind David’s balls, then back up and over the head of his cock. He wanted him to feel good. So good.

David tugged back the waistband, and Patrick’s cock practically bounced out. Patrick looked up at David’s face and sucked in a breath as David licked his lips. “Perfect,” he whispered.

“What—“ Patrick cleared his throat. “What else have you thought about?”  
David wrapped his long fingers around Patrick’s dick and pressed his lips against Patrick’s ear. “About wrapping my lips around your pretty cock and seeing how long I can keep it in my throat.”

Fuck. Jesus fuck. “David,” he groaned as he thrusted into David’s grip. The delicious ache in his wrist offered enough of a distraction so he didn’t come immediately. He’d jerked off more times than he could count to the thought of David’s mouth on him. Wrapped around him. Swallowing him down.

He was getting too close. He needed to shift the attention to David. “Want to know what I’ve thought about?”

David’s eyes widened and one side of his mouth turned up. “Fuck, yes.”

“I’ve wondered what you taste like. If you taste as woodsy as you smell.” He wrapped his free hand around David’s neck and pull him into licking distance. “Your cologne drives me wild every day.” David gasped. Was that the right time to admit how often he’d jerked off in the store’s bathroom when he got too turned on?

Reluctantly, he pulled his hand out of David’s boxers and clutched the hem of David’s jersey. “As much as I’m enjoying this,” he spread his fingers across David’s stomach, “I’ve thought a lot about your chest. Can I?” David nodded so Patrick carefully removed the jersey. He sucked in a breath as he took in David’s broad, hairy chest. “Sometimes a hint of hair sticks above your sweaters and fuck. You’re so sexy, David. Do you have any idea?” He thrust into David’s fist hard as he ran his fingers through the coarse hair covering David’s chest.

“Patrick, you’re killing me.” David released a groan from deep in his chest.

Patrick leaned into David, forcing him to release his hold on Patrick’s dick. Patrick kissed a path across David’s firm pecs, stopping to lick at one of his nipples. David’s breath quickened under Patrick’s attention. He needed more. Why were they still wearing underwear? Patrick slid his hands beneath David’s waistband to grip his ass. David shifted forward until his hard cock rocked against Patrick’s in a rhythm that drove him wild.

The sensation became too much. He nuzzled into the crook of David’s neck and sucked a spot at his collarbone as he kneaded David’s ass. One of his fingers brushed the crease and David pushed back into the sensation. Hell yes. Fuck. He wanted that. He wanted to touch David _everywhere_. Have David touch him everywhere.

“David, can we?” He tugged on David’s boxers.

“Huh?” David’s rocking slowed, and Patrick tugged again. “Yes. Mmhmm. Off. Yup.” He leaned to one side and pulled a leg back. Patrick missed the weight and warmth of him immediately.

David crawled off the bed and slid his boxer-briefs down. Patrick’s jaw dropped. It was one thing to feel the size of him, but to see it? He closed his mouth so he didn’t accidentally drool. David studied him for a moment with a crease between his eyebrows.

“Are you okay? We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Patrick pulled his boxers up over his dick while he waited for David’s reply. He wanted David to be completely on board with whatever they did.

“What? No!” He shook his head. “I mean, I’m fine. I guess—“ He looked at Patrick again. “You okay? Seeing a naked man?”

Patrick’s mouth twitched. “David, are you asking me if I’m having second-thoughts about being sexually attracted to men?”

David rolled his eyes. “Well, not exactly.”

Patrick removed his boxers in as swift of a motion he could manage while sitting up on a bed with alcohol still coursing through his body. “If it’s okay with you, I’d much prefer our naked bodies touching than you standing over there.”

David flashed a lopsided smile. “I suppose I can accommodate that.”

He wanted their entire naked bodies to touch. Not just hands stroking and lips wandering, but skin-to-skin from legs to shoulders. Patrick wasn’t used to asking for what he wanted because he never really wanted before? But David made him feel comfortable. “Can we do what we did on the beanbag chair? I want to feel you without clothes between us.”

David’s smile turned soft and teasing. “Yeah. I’d like that. How about you do the work this time?”

Patrick scooted over so David could lay on the pillows. “I suppose I can accommodate that.”

David crawled on the bed again. Even sexier with all of his skin on display with his hard cock dangling between his legs. Patrick leaned in for a hot kiss. He’d never tire of kissing David. He couldn’t wait to wake up and kiss him tomorrow. Sober, sleep-rumpled David.

“Is the lube over there?”

Patrick felt around until his fingers hit the bottle. He handed it to David and watched as he spread it across his pelvis and dropped some on his palm, then stroked himself. Watching David stroke himself would feature in Patrick’s masturbation sessions for months to come. He dribbled more in his palm and wrapped his hand around Patrick, tugging a couple of times.

“C’mere.” David held out his arms and Patrick fell into them willingly. He loved the weight of David on him, but dropping his full weight on someone without worried about hurting their petite frame was a turn-on he hadn’t anticipated.

Patrick’s lubed-up cock slid against David’s. “Oh. Oh, God. David.” He thrust against David as he kissed him hard. Teeth clashing, tongues diving. He was lost to the sensations of his body. A body chasing release. Ecstasy.

David dragged his fingernails down Patrick’s back. Enough pressure to have Patrick wanting more. Something to explore later. Next time. God, he couldn’t wait until their next time.

“Fuck. You feel so good.” David’s hands squeezed Patrick’s ass hard. Goddamn. He wanted more.

The telltale tension coiled low in his belly. “David.” He clutched at David’s hair and tugged to expose more of his neck. He nipped at David’s chin and licked down his throat. “I’ve thought about this, about you, so many times. Fuck.” He picked up speed and barely managed the words through his panting.

“Me too. Me too.” David used his grip on Patrick’s ass to urge him along. “So many times. I’ve wanted you so much,” he said so softly Patrick almost didn’t hear.

Those words pushed Patrick to the edge. “David,” he groaned into the crook of his neck as he used his free hand to hitch up David’s leg. The slightly different angle pushed Patrick the rest of the way, and his body tensed with release. He moaned David’s name as he thrust through his release.

David tensed beneath him with his own orgasm. His hands squeezed Patrick’s ass harder, and his fingers teased at his crease. Patrick pressed back into his hands. That. He wanted David to touch him there. Tease his hole, maybe lick him to get him ready for his fingers. His cock. God, he’d just come and was already thinking about the next time.

Patrick kissed David’s collarbone, his neck, jaw, behind his ear, lips, nose, forehead.

David laughed against Patrick’s onslaught. “You’re a post-orgasm cuddler, aren’t you?”

Patrick gently tugged his fingers through David’s hair. “How about I get us a washcloth and you’ll find out?”

“Mm, I like the sound of that.” David gave Patrick a quick kiss before he sunk into the pillows and closed his eyes.

Patrick gently bit David’s lower lip before getting off the bed. He walked a bit sideways. Probably from the alcohol and incredible fucking orgasm. Holy shit. He’d gotten naked with David Fucking Rose. If he was more confident he wouldn’t break his neck, he’d do a cartwheel or something.

Running warm water on two washcloths, he quickly wiped himself down then returned to David. He carefully cleaned David as he hummed at him with his eyes still closed.

“I should be taking care of you. Your first time,” David mumbled in a sleepy voice.

“You can clean us up next time.” Patrick reached over David to grab the full glass of water and pain pills. “Here. Hangover insurance.”

David sat up a little. “Thanks.”

Patrick got off the bed to pull the bedding back. He climbed in without a second thought. “It’s warm under here.” He settled against his pillow and stretched out an arm.

David sat the glass on his nightstand and climbed underneath the covers, clicking the table lamp off. “Definitely a cuddler.”

“Guilty.” Patrick fell asleep with a smile on his face.


	19. Chapter 19

As consciousness tugged at David, the first thing he noticed was a dull throbbing in his head and dryness in his mouth. Ugh. He’d drank too much last night. Water. He needed water ASAP. He rolled toward the nightstand and cracked an eye open. Empty glass. Shit.

David flexed his left hand to wake it up. He must’ve slept on it. As he expanded his fingers, they brushed against skin. Patrick. Memories of last night flooded his mind in a flash. Drinks, the Bond costume, flirting, so much flirting, kissing, Patrick’s cock. Oh, God, his cock. David bit his lips to silence a groan. Of all the times he’d imagined getting Patrick naked, he’d never expected Patrick to be so- so- goddamn sexy. Expressive and giving and enthusiastic and confident. David had underestimated him, but he should’ve realized that no experience with a man didn’t mean he’d be a bumbling flower.

His body wanted to roll back over and wrap arms around Patrick’s warm body. Kiss his shoulders and rub him until he grew hard. Take Patrick into his mouth like he wanted to last night. But his mind? His mind screamed for him to get the hell out of that bed before he caused permanent damage to their relationship.

It was clear Patrick liked him. He liked Patrick. It should be easy, right? But all he could think about was how much they’d had to drink before fooling around and how _nice_ Patrick was. How he wouldn’t want David to be embarrassed by what they’d done, even if it was more than Patrick felt comfortable with.

They needed to have a conversation, but not in his parent’s basement. They needed time to reflect and think about what they wanted. He needed time to reflect.

_No, you’re a coward. You’re scared and putting your walls up. You’re not being fair to Patrick._

The fact that his internal voice sounded like Stevie was the cruelest punishment of all. Putting some distance between them _was_ being fair to Patrick. He wanted both of them to have time to process what had happened and decide if they wanted more, but they needed to get back to Schitt’s Creak first. To their real world. Because the utopia they’d lived in the last few days promised rainbows and unicorns and happily ever afters. Apple cider donuts and pumpkin promenades and an entire town turning out for a _Hocus Pocus_ viewing.

In Schitt’s Creek, David wasn’t pretending to be the perfect boyfriend for Patrick’s family. Schitt’s Creek David was difficult and dramatic and took more than he gave. He had an overly fussy coffee order and exacting merchandising standards in the store and refused to come in on time so Patrick had to pick up the slack. Far from the perfect boyfriend. Now that Patrick had a taste of perfectly fake Boyfriend David Rose, how could he want the real David? How could David trust that Patrick would be happy with the real him after getting a taste of how much better David _could_ be.

Carefully, he climbed out of the bed and put on his boxers. If Patrick woke up while David remained in the bed, he’d fall into his arms. They needed space. Time. Schitt’s Creek. Quietly, he gathered clothes and went to the bathroom to get ready. After he was showered, dressed, and feeling as good as he could without coffee in his body and Patrick’s arms around him, he went up to the kitchen without checking to see if Patrick was awake.

Time. He was giving Patrick time.

“Morning, sweetheart.” Marcy smiled at him as she pulled the kettle from the stove and began filling the French press. “I heard the shower going so I started the water.”

“Good morning. Sleep well?” He moved to lean against the kitchen counter.

“I did. You? Get back late?”

“Not too late. We left with Katie before midnight.” The early hour was the only reason he’d beaten Patrick awake. That and the intensifying throb in his head. He needed coffee. Just five more minutes until it was ready.

“How’d it go with the cousins?” Marcy picked up her mug and leaned against the counter opposite him.

Before he could control it, his smile grew wide. “They’re great. You have a wonderful family.” He looked down at his feet. “It’s nice to see that Patrick comes from such a loving home.” A home environment he couldn’t relate to. Now that he knew what Patrick had left behind last year, it was even more clear how bad he’d had to have felt to make him leave all of this behind. He had a new understanding of Patrick and it tugged at his heart.

“He’s very loved here,” she smiled softly at him. “It’s nice to know that Patrick is just as loved in his new home.”

David looked up at the ceiling to blink away the tears forming at the corners of his eyes. She’s right. Patrick was beloved in Schitt’s Creek by many. “He is,” he managed.

She turned to open the fridge and he appreciated the moment to compose himself. “There’s a lightness about him I haven’t seen in all of his adult years.” She placed the milk and caramel sauce next to the French press, then opened a cupboard and retrieved the cocoa powder. “It’s not only because he’s come out. It’s you, David.”

“Thank you,” he whispered. As he watched Marcy arrange the fixings for his fussy coffee and depress the plunger on a French press they’d bought just for him, he nearly cried out from the pain of his chest cracking open. When he’d flippantly offered to be Patrick’s fake boyfriend, he’d expected a weekend of flirting and maybe a few chaste kisses. He hadn’t expected to fall for Patrick’s family in the process. To feel so at home with them. So welcomed and comfortable.

If Patrick woke up and realized he didn’t want David, or if David couldn’t find the strength to tell Patrick how he felt, or if he ended up being a shitty boyfriend and Patrick dumped him, he’d lose more than Patrick. He’d lose his chance at life with the Brewers.

Would Patrick tell them they’d lied? Would he cry to them about how David broke his heart? Would they stop calling the store because they hated David for hurting him? When— _if_ , the voice in his head shouted—they called off their fake relationship, he wouldn’t blame Patrick for saying it was David’s fault. But Patrick was too nice for that. He’d probably say managing a business and personal relationship grew to be too much, so he’d gone out and met a nice boy in Elmdale who liked baseball and had a normal family and didn’t come with a 747’s worth of baggage.


	20. Chapter 20

Patrick squeezed the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. David had spent the last half an hour calling vendors to arrange pick-ups for the coming week. Something that could have easily held until tomorrow when they weren’t in a car together. When they should be talking about things. About them.

When he’d fallen asleep with David in his arms and a smile on his face, he’d imagined waking David up by kissing a path down his body and mouthing him until he grew hard. Showering together and playing footsie under the dining table as his mom cooked them breakfast.

He hadn’t expected to wake up cold and alone. He hated finding David’s suitcases sitting next to the stairs when he’d gone to find the man himself. Or the awkward morning greeting when he’d gone upstairs to find David with his parents, effectively removing any opportunity for Patrick to talk to David. With each forced smile, his heart sunk further in his chest. His mom didn’t seem to sense anything, but Patrick knew David’s forced smiles and being on the receiving end of them hurt more than anything.

Most confusing of all was the way David had held onto his mom when they’d said goodbye. Like he’d never get to see her again. Didn’t he know he could? Patrick wanted him—wanted them—to be real.

All he could think was David regretting that it got real. That he’d enjoyed flirting with Patrick, but realized he didn’t want anything more. Or he thought Patrick really was pretending and decided to drunkly get a little sex out of the deal, but didn’t David know Patrick wasn’t that kind of person? Didn’t he feel how real every kiss, every touch, was? Or David was scared to let Patrick in. Scared of his own feelings. Patrick hoped for that because it could be fixed. Patrick was scared too, and they could be scared together.

After the phone calls stopped, David turned the music on loud enough to prevent conversation as he slunk into his seat and stared out the passenger window. The music seemed a bit too loud for someone who’d mumbled excuses about a hangover. Okay. He’d wait David out. He hadn’t pined over David for a year to give up so easily. David had made the first move by offering to be Patrick’s fake boyfriend, so Patrick could meet him halfway. Because now he realized that’s exactly what David had done. He’d been so stupid. They’d been dancing around each other from day one.

Patrick spent the next hour planning how to tell David how he felt. He needed to do it away from the car stereo and away from vendor calls. A billboard ahead caught his attention. A pumpkin patch that boasted the country’s best apple cider donuts? The corner of Patrick’s mouth tugged up. Perfect.

“Do we need gas?” David asked when Patrick took the exit toward the pumpkin patch.

“Nope.” Patrick kept his tone even. He knew it was a risk, but David wouldn’t get too mad about a donut pit stop.

“Okay…”

Patrick followed the signs and they parked a few minutes later.

“Um, why are we stopping at a pumpkin patch?”

“It’s an apple cider donut pit stop.”

“Oh.” David’s mouth twitched as he reached for the handle.

“I hear sugar helps with hangovers,” Patrick said over the hood of the car as they walked toward a sign for the donuts.

“Mm.”

Patrick would give anything to snap David out of whatever spiral going on in his mind.

They didn’t talk as they moved through the queue. He paid for their hot apple ciders and donuts, then stood silently at the order pick-up window. When their order was ready, Patrick grabbed a handful of napkins and led them to a bank of picnic table.

“We’re not going back to the car?” David asked hesitantly.

“Nope. We’re going to eat donuts and talk.”

“Oh.”

Patrick picked the table tucked in a corner between hay bales so they had as much privacy as possible. He sat down and pulled a donut from the container. David stared at it. “David, eat the donut. You need the sugar before we have this conversation.”

David slowly reached out and selected a donut, then took the daintiest bite Patrick had ever witnessed from him.

By the time Patrick had finished his donut and half his cider, David had only made it through a third of his donut. “The slower you eat, the more you’re torturing yourself.”

David glared at him. “I’m hungover.”

“You’re full of shit.”

David’s eyes flashed.

“I’ll wait.” He shifted to straddle the bench and lean his elbow on his table so he could take in their surroundings. Dozens of families wandered around the large field, with some pulling wagons behind them. A tractor pulled people seated on hay bales in the distance. A young couple posed for a selfie under a scarecrow to their left.

From the corner of his eye, he saw David reach for another donut. He smiled to himself and pooled his courage. Figuring David might be skittish, he stayed straddling the bench and facing away from him for the time being.

“David, last night was amazing. I have no regrets about it.” The silence stretched over a long moment and he couldn’t take it so he glanced at David and found him frozen, staring at Patrick with the donut near his mouth. “Actually, I have one regret.” David’s eyes squeezed and squinted. “My regret is I wasn’t completely sober to remember everything in perfect clarity.” When he saw David’s face scrunch, he rushed to continue, realizing it probably sounded like he didn’t remember what happened. “What I mean is, I remember, and loved, everything we did, but some of it is soft in my mind. I can play it back in my mind like a movie in third person perspective instead of first, at times. If that makes sense.” God, he was screwing up already.

“I get what you mean.” David took a sip from his drink. “Me too. I remember it all, but it’s not completely crisp.”

Patrick let out a breath. He hadn’t realized until that moment he’d been worried about David not remembering what had happened. He wasn’t sure he could take the prospect of him being the only one who remembered their first time together.

“You know what I kept thinking about last night?”

David gently shook his head.

“How I couldn’t wait to wake up with you in my arms and kiss you and do it again, but completely sober. Completely aware and in control of every sensation, every touch.”

David’s mouth formed an O. He waited a moment, but David didn’t say anything. He didn’t run either, so Patrick took it as a sign to keep going.

“But when I woke up, you weren’t there. I understand why you weren’t, but I wanted you to be.”

David looked down at his hands.

“When you offered to be my boyfriend for the weekend, I couldn’t believe my luck. I thought I’d finally find the courage to tell you how I feel. That being fake boyfriends would give me the strength to do what I couldn’t on my own.”

“How do you feel?” David said so softly, Patrick nearly missed it.

He turned on the bench to fully face David. “It was real to me, David. Everything about this weekend was real. Every kiss, every hug, every time I held your hand. I didn’t pretend for a second.”

David’s face fell in his hands, and Patrick’s stomach rolled. He knew David wanted him, but he needed David to meet him halfway. Patrick couldn’t make them happen on his own.

“Patrick, that wasn’t me.” He framed his face with his fingertips and rubbed circles on his temples. His eyes looked wild, unfocused. “That was me pretending to be the boyfriend you deserve. Someone you can take home to your parents who’s nice and will learn to cook pancakes and happily carve pumpkins and meet all your cousins.”

That’s what the problem was? He was hung up on pretending to be the perfect boyfriend not pretending to like Patrick? No wonder he was scared. He had no idea how authentic he’d been all weekend.

“David, that’s bullshit and you know it.” He ignored David’s shocked expression and pushed on. “You complained half the time we carved pumpkins about the goop and the dull tools, but you kept going and made something beautiful. You got so frustrated when you dropped the pancake on the floor, but you pushed through and kept trying until you mastered it. You teased with Katie just like you would with Stevie or Alexis. You teased my family, teased me, ate your way through the festival, and charmed the ever-loving fuck out of my family while doing it.”

David frowned at him.

“Don’t you see? You were completely yourself.” He held out his hands, palms up, beseeching David to understand. “The store. You complained the whole time we had to stock shelves and apply labels and clean, but you did it and it turned out amazing. When you messed up the terms on the Lucky Leather agreement, you swallowed your pride and called them and worked it out. Teasing is how you show affection. It’s what you do when you’re comfortable with someone.”

He reached out and grabbed David’s hands. “You were yourself this weekend and everyone loved you for it. David, you gave me a taste of what it’s like to be your boyfriend. To have you in my life. I want that for real. I want to fall asleep with you and wake up with you and argue over music in the car and make pancakes.” His voice cracked at the end, and he squeezed David’s hands.

David studied him and the seconds passed like hours as Patrick waited for a response, any response. “I want that too.”

Patrick ducked his head below his shoulders and choked out a laugh. He looked back up at David and let his smile go as wide as it could. “Then why the hell don’t we?"

“Okay.” David tucked a smile to one side of his mouth.

“We’re doing this?”

“We’re doing this.” David leaned forward to kiss Patrick. For real.

"Hey, David?"

"Yes, Patrick?" He grinned.

"Want to go with me to Mike's wedding?"

"I'd love to, honey."


	21. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

“How’d you manage to mess up your bowtie again?” David clucked his tongue at his boyfriend.

“I’m sure it had nothing to do with you pawing at me,” Patrick said in a deadpan tone.

He focused on retying it and not kissing Patrick senseless. “It’s not my fault you look so fucking good in a tux. It’s practically criminal that you’d even expect me _not_ to paw at you.”

Patrick kissed David’s forehead. “I’m sorry to put you in such a difficult position.”

“Thank you for your concern.” David smirked. The past two months had been the best of David’s life. Transitioning from business partners and friends to business partners, friends and boyfriends had been much easier than he thought it could be. Some shapeless anxiety that had kept him from telling Patrick how he felt for months and months ended up being a complete non-issue. They still teased and brought each other lunch, but now they could solve business debates while naked and cuddle in bed on their days off. Plus, lots of pancakes. The only downside was how hard it was to go into work late on the days he woke up in Patrick’s arms and didn’t have the excuse of sharing a bathroom with Alexis.

David turned Patrick so they both looked in the mirror of his childhood bathroom. “You look amazing.” The new bathroom shelves caught his eye. Shelves added since their last visit that happened to perfectly fit David’s toiletries.

“So do you.” Patrick kissed David’s cheek.

“You kids ready?” Marcy called down the stairs.

“As long as your son quits messing with his bowtie!” David yelled back.

“He’s your boyfriend. Your problem,” she hollered in a sing-song voice.

Patrick’s exceedingly undignified snort-laugh echoed in the bathroom.

David turned and strode out of the bathroom, grinning. He popped in the bedroom to grab his phone and glanced at the jumbo luggage rack Clint had installed for David’s suitcases. The Brewers had incorporated David into their lives without a second thought and hell if it didn’t warm the cockles of his cold, dead heart.

An hour later, David found himself squeezed between Patrick and Katie on a church pew as he watched Mike get married. He tried to focus on the vows and the scripture readings and the singing, but his mind wandered to what it would be like to stand up there with Patrick in front of the Brewers he’d grown to adore. If he and Patrick ever did get married (and holy fuck was he seriously thinking about that two months in?!), half the people in that church would probably be watching them share their own vows.

Marriage? Seriously? He’d barely gotten used to calling Patrick his boyfriend. Then again, it’s not like he’d just met Patrick two months ago. They’d built their relationship for more than a year. Building trust, incorporating each other into their lives, falling in love. They hadn’t said it yet, but he knew it was coming. The idea didn’t terrify him like he thought it would. Actually, he kinda couldn’t wait to say it and to hear it. But he would wait until the right time.

After the ceremony, they made their way to an event center on the other side of town. David could best describe the reception as Christmas country chic. Mason jar centerpieces with evergreen accents, wreaths spaced evenly on the walls, and an actual Christmas tree in the corner? If that’s where wedding gifts were supposed to go, he’d lose it.

“The tree is a bit much,” Patrick whispered into David’s ears. He bit back a smile and nodded.

They grabbed drinks then settled at their assigned table. Patrick politely introduced David to the relatives sitting with them he hadn’t met yet.

“How long have you two been together?” One of his aunts asked.

David looked at Patrick and smiled softly. That was something they hadn’t talked about. They couldn’t exactly say, “oh, about two months. We got together when we visited last time after pretending to be boyfriends so Patrick could come out to you all.” Would they ever share that story? David loved the story, but it had a bit of a dark undercurrent of Patrick not feeling comfortable coming out to his family on his own. But with time, maybe it would be a funny anecdote they told during speeches at their wedding. And holy goddamn motherfucker. Thinking of marrying Patrick again?! He’d heard of baby fever, but was wedding fever a thing? Surely it had to be.

Patrick grabbed the hand David had resting on the table as he looked at his aunt. “I fell for David the moment I met him.” David swallowed to distract himself from the onslaught of emotions rocketing through him. Aside from being the sweetest damn thing of all time, it was one hell of a fantastic non answer. Patrick shared his affection and adoration so openly and it took David by surprise all the time. He turned back to David. “About fourteen, fifteen month ago?”

“Mm. Yup.” He bit the corner of his mouth.

“You two should come back for the Valentine’s Day fair,” the aunt said.

“Yes! David, you’d love it. There’s a cakewalk,” Marcy said. At his confused expression, Marcy explained it and David agreed that yes, he’d definitely enjoy that activity.

David’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out to see a text from Patrick to the group text with him, Stevie and Alexis with a photo of the reception Christmas tree with the caption, “David’s already mood boarding a redesign to the store for next year featuring a giant tree covered with ornaments handmade by children. Won’t it be great?” He tugged his lips between his teeth as he tried to hold back a laugh as Stevie’s and Alexis’s dots began bouncing immediately. He slid his phone back in his pocket to deal with their teasing later. Teasing in their group text. The three most important people in his life. He looked up, and Patrick winked at him.

The reception was nice, even with the tacky decor. He wiped his eyes during the speeches and caught Patrick doing the same, savored the delicious French vanilla cake with raspberry filling, and floated across the dance floor with champagne bubbling in his body.

“Having fun?” Patrick gently squeezed David’s waist as they danced.

“I am. I like your family.” David swayed slowly in Patrick’s arms.

“They like you too.” Patrick stepped a little closer. “I’m so grateful I found you, David Rose.” The earnest fondness in Patrick’s eyes struck David silent, so he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Patrick always seemed to understand the moments David had a hard time expressing himself with words because he trusted David would get there eventually. David spoke with actions first, usually.

“My turn. Move it, Patty.” Katie pushed Patrick out of the way. “Go dance with your mom so I can dance with the hottest guy at the wedding. I have a reputation to uphold.”

Patrick playfully scowled at his cousin then smiled at David before walking over to his mom.

“How are you holding up with the full Brewer onslaught?” Katie placed her right hand on David’s shoulder and wrapped the fingers of her free hand around David’s.

“Feeling good so far, unless there’s some sort of sacrificial ritual I should be worried about?”

She laughed. “We don’t invite Brewer plus ones to that until they’ve been around the family for at least a year.”

David grinned. “So I’ve got time then.”

A mischievous glint sparkled in her eyes. “I’d say about ten months? Is my math correct?”

David stilled as panic raced up his spine. “Um, no? We’ve been together for about—“

“I’m not going to tell anyone.”

He studied her and narrowed her eyes. She really did remind him of Stevie. “How’d you figure it out?”

Katie’s face softened in that pathologically Brewer way. “If Patrick had already been dating you before Halloween, I’d have known because he wouldn’t have been able to shut up about it. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that he was practically radio silent on social media for a year, then poof! You two come home for Halloween, claiming to be boyfriends, then magically he’s posting about all your cute couple escapades like some sort of relationship influencer.”

Heat rushed through David’s cheeks. He had noticed Patrick posting more, but he never thought about what it might look like to others.

“If you two were already a couple, he wouldn’t have hid you. Most of the family assumes Patrick is private because he was never gushy about Rachel, but this is different.” She shrugged as though it was easy as that.

“Huh.”

“Like I said, I’m not going to say anything. I don’t think anyone else has thought about it beyond being glad to see Patrick so happy.”

David’s shoulders relaxed. “That’s good.”

“Just figure out a cover story for your wedding, yeah?” She raised David’s arm to spin herself as he sputtered at her words. It was one thing to daydream about it at a wedding while caught up in the emotions, but another to hear someone else talk about it. “You two coming back for the May Day festival? The flowers are blooming and it’s gorgeous.” They chatted through the rest of the song until Patrick came over to swap his mom for Katie.

“Isn’t Katie great?” Marcy fell into the same hand placement that Katie had just vacated.

“She is. She reminds me of my best friend, Stevie.”

Marcy laughed. “I can see that based on what Patrick has said.”

David knew Patrick talked about him, but to know he talked about Stevie sent a special thrill through him. When David spiraled and was at his lowest, he sometimes worried Patrick would abandon him like he did his family and Rachel. As with most spirals, logic didn’t factor into it. They owned a store together, Patrick had reasons to leave before and now lived fully as himself. But knowing Patrick was truly blending his family life and Schitt’s Creek life went a long way in soothing those deeper fears.

“Are you two staying for the New Year’s Eve party?”

“We have to get back to the store, but maybe we’ll be able to next year if we can afford to hire some help.” Picturing their wedding, loosely talking about plans in a year? David never pictured his life with that kind of stability.

“That would be wonderful.” Marcy’s smile was contagious. “We have a festival every July that I think you’d love. The funnel cakes are to die for.”

Patrick was _definitely_ from a Hallmark town. “You had me at funnel cake.”

A short while later, David and Patrick stood with arms around each other’s waists and shoulders as they talked to some cousins. The Brewers were the kind of large family David always dreamed of. Warm and loving. Through his time in Schitt’s Creek, David had learned to appreciate his own family more, but the Brewers sure as hell offered a nice balance to the Roses. For as much as David appreciated the wholesome steadiness of the Brewers, Patrick loved the dramatic unpredictability of the Roses. David and Patrick always seemed to settle somewhere in the middle.

“I’m so glad you came, David!” Mike said as he walked over, leaning in to give them each a brief man hug.

“Congratulations. It was a beautiful wedding.” David smiled and managed not to laugh at Patrick’s light pinch of his side.

“Thanks. Best day of my life.” Mike’s attention wandered to his new bride, who stood among a group of friends nearby. The dopey smile on his face was one David had seen on Patrick’s many times. When he caught Patrick watching him stock shelves, or David trying to learn cooking basics, or David talking Dancing with the Stars with Ray.

Mike turned back to them. “When are you going to make an honest man out of him, Patty? Gotta put a ring on it before someone better snatches him up.” Mike punched Patrick’s shoulder.

If the Earth could open up and swallow him, he’d be fine with that. He’d miss Patrick, for sure, but that would be better than facing whatever Patrick’s reaction would be. Wedding fever was a menace. But then Patrick spoke and David’s world shifted.

“Who says you’d be invited?”

David’s head snapped toward Patrick and there it was. The dopey smile. It took David’s breath away. They hadn’t talked about long term beyond loose plans for the store when they’d initially made their partnership contract. For their personal relationship, they casually talked about the future in ways like, “we should go see the cherry blossoms this spring” or “when the weather gets nicer, let’s make an overnight getaway when doing vendor runs.” They hadn’t said the L-word aloud to each other and they’d only been calling each other boyfriends for a couple of weeks. Shouldn’t David run or be terrified or make a thousand excuses about how it was too soon to even think about the prospect of that?

But then again, Patrick had been a part of David’s life for more than fourteen months. He’d seen David at his worst, even before they started dating, and hadn’t run. Patrick demonstrated every day that he cared for David, appreciated him, wanted him to be an important part of Patrick’s life. They may not be close to engagement, let alone getting married, but David knew they were on the path to that milestone. He trusted that as much as the spreadsheet Patrick used to track when they could afford to hire a part time worker. David knew what to do to get there eventually because he trusted Patrick and Patrick trusted him.

“Don’t worry, Mike. I’ll make sure you get an invite.” David winked at him. Patrick squeezed hard enough on David’s hip to leave a mark, and he understood. It wasn’t the time or place for a deep conversation about the future or declarations of love, but David had found words to tell Patrick how he felt, and Patrick wanted him to know he got it. Because he got David. He always did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this Halloween-themed ride of fluff and Hallmark vibes <3
> 
> I'm over on Tumblr at [lisamc-21](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lisamc-21).


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